jozjozjoz.com

Professoreric here: Disappeared again for a while, I am somewhere in Kansas again, I have found some entertainment in the local thrift and antique stores. Yesterday my friend found an entire series of old photos from a trip to Tijuana in the 40’s where a couple watched a woman bullfighter and then went into the street afterwards, put sombreros on, scowled, and tried to “look like the dirty Mexicans”. I thought this took the cake, until I saw the picture I bought. It is a suburban American scene. Nice large houses, trees, lawns, nice car, someone’s husband, and his large flag with a swastika on it. His name is Earl Tate and is if from 1941. So I own this photo now, and will scan it and give it to you Joz, to post if you wish, when I have access to a scanner. Until then we will just have to try and visualize/fantasize in our heads a time when a man, his home, his lawn, his car, and his klan flag still meant something. I can’t wait to return to LA were there is no bigotry….

I miss you Joz and pals…

Today I am typing up a report at home, so I can eat all the snacks I want… here is the list, all consumed between the hours of 10AM to 4:30 PM:

Tea, 3 large pieces of bread, with butter and raspberry quince tea jam.

4 pieces of Italian marzipan (about 4 months old).

2 packages (two crackers in each), sweet and salty rice crackers.

About 10-12 caramel filled Hershey’s kisses.

A large bowl of linguini with olive oil, salt and pepper, parmesan, and whatever veggies were in the fridge.

A grapefruit.

Two handfuls of dried cranberries.

More tea with milk and sugar this time.

A bag of microwaved popcorn. (literally the whole bag. Maybe minus about 20 un popped kernels.)

Some wine (it was already open).

Some more tea. And some more cranberries. Something I thought was a cranberry I dropped but turned out to be colorful lint. Some peanuts I found in a bag in my room while procrastinating the writing and moving onto some cleaning.

I read a cook book too. Does that count for something?

I think that is it now… but it is almost time for dinner. Someone stop me! I am going to end up like Kirsty Alley, minus a career on the comeback (loved her in Troop Beverly Hills!). I love snacks… yum. -professoreric

On the beach I saw a water spout. It pulled down from the sky like taffy dripping from a table of clouds on a hot day. It was cool. I am working on the beach for the week, our offices temporarily moved into trailers here for a show, and it comes to my thoughts that when tornadoes land there favorite diet is 95% trailer. Hmmm… this may be my last post. Anyways, it was beautiful. Just wanted to share. -professoreric

I am writing a little essay and I need some help. I need you to tell me about your favorite jukebox and the establishment that houses it. Why is it so great? What makes a good jukebox? What makes a bad one? What is the worst jukebox you know of and why is it so bad? What’s best: record, cd, internet type jukebox? What are signs of a pretentious jukebox? Know any interesting history or stories you could share with me regarding… jukeboxes? Thanks for your help. I can’t wait to hear what you guys come up with. Feel free to send this around if you think it might have some relevance to someone else. Thanks. -professoreric

p.s. missbrookline, please hold off on responding to this. i know you know where i am going with this and i am curious to hear peoples responses first.

Joz!- I am back from the Palm Desert now! I will call you in a few hours and talk your ear off. I have missed you more then the desert misses the rain. No wait let me recant that. There was plenty of rain in the desert when I was there, and let me tell you the desert was not too happy about it. There were floods. Like the flood of despair that has filled my heart with the absence of you in my life. There we go, an apt analogy. There we go. I love you honey child. And I miss all of the blogger friends. I am back now. Hooray! -professoreric

Dear Professoreric,

We miss you so much. Especially in these unfortunate times. Where are you where have you gone? We need you like we need: air, water, food, TiVo, candy, and/or rice… What I am saying is, it is a sad day when I cannot log onto www.jozjozjoz.com and find pleasant rantings about how disappointed you are with the gay community, or how you hate the state of healthcare in America, or how you almost got eaten by a shark. Do you get what I am saying we need you. Don’t you all agree? What have been up to that you have disappeared from our lives? Are you pregnant? Are you trying to get pregnant? Are you still eating snacks in the corner? And we need more post-it note art! It was promised. Ok…. I will try and calm down a bit. But please let me and the rest of our faithful readers know. We deserve it. And we miss you… right? Right.

Sitting here crying,
Sincerely,
The President of the Professoreric Fanclub

My morning was dragging, and my shirt inside out when I decided to walk three miles to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery for some reflection. It only took me about thirty minutes and the walk was interesting enough that it didn’t drag. I walked over the freeway and traffic was moving nicely, and I thought about how easy it would be to hop onto a slow moving truck and let it take me wherever it was going. But then I remembered that it would most likely take me somewhere in the valley way hotter then here, maybe Sylmar, so I kept walking. The cemetery was quiet and I walked around looking at various people’s expressions of what their loved ones had meant to them, reading epitaphs both generic and very personal. I walked on grave sites and through mausoleums and sat quietly at memorials. I spotted two kids making out behind Cecile B. DeMille. I saw a family adding toys and flowers to a little girls grave. I saw a man sitting by his late mother thinking. I walked on grass and on gravel paths and sidewalks and mud. I watch men in uniform shoot into the air to mourn a fallen friend. I saw the withering impatiens by the gift shop and the roses and tulip just placed in vases on various plots. As I left a woman in a vibrant blue dress looked toward the sky and wiped the sweat and tears from her face and then, while Taps played on nearby trumpets, she disappear behind the willows. On my way back home the traffic on the 101 was at a stand still and hopping on a truck’s roof would have been really easy, but pointless since they were stagnant. I bought some bread at the Armenian bakery for a buck and when in my house made a peanut butter and fluff sandwich and ate it while petting the cat and watching bad T.V. for a few before buckling down for some work. Today seems a little bit heavy, I am not sure why, it is good though. And my shirt is still inside out, and I am totally ok with that. -professoreric

Well currently in Seattle, WA, which is awsome by the way. We have been schlepping about the national parks and have been camping and hiking and visiting all of our furry little creature friends. Here is a short list of animals we have encountered (as in very closly): Bears, deer, marmots, elk, moose, seals, sea lions, starfish, hawks, gulls, cayotes, and oh so many more. We have slept in the rain and in the fog, on the beach and in the backyard of some very nice strangers. we have slept next to rivers and under boulders, and had a ton of fun. we have found the best little thrift stores and the best falafel in small towns. we were suprised on the latter as well. now we are in the seattle public library which is incredible. more to come later maybe. Joz. please spell check for me. i have to more minutes. this trip RAWKS! love, -professoreric

Here is a daily random website i am not sure how i stumbled onto. it is full of delights. enjoy! hope it makes you smile joz! -professoreric

Joz, darling, I will make this quick. Typing hurts my little hand still so here is a little something to cheer you up. I just love this mag/website, and I think this picture might make you laugh. Read the captions and brows the other stuff, it will make you happy.

http://foundmagazine.com/

then go to “Find of the Week”

then specifically click on “25 jan 2004”

enjoy.

-professoreric

(mad props to Davy and Jason, and the rest of the found gang.)

I am inspired by Shannon’s solution to my heath insurance crisis:

“If you can’t move to Canada or Cuba, I recommend the date-a-doctor route.”

Shannon, couldn’t agree more.

So…

Dear Queer, Gay, Bi, Curious, or even Female Doctors,

I would like to date you. I don’t just want to date you for your sparkling personality and your good looks, but also because I am an accident-prone person with no basic health insurance. In exchange for you fixing me when I break, I will pretty much do anything: cook, clean, pet-sit, and well other obvious significant other perks. As a test of our compatibility let us start by fixing my broken finger. After that there will be a nice date: movie, dinner, something… and we can further decide if we are meant for each other (especially until I get a job which values me enough to give me health insurance). So? What do you say. Huh? Lets give this a shot. I love those little scrubs you wear, and I am good at playing doctor too. Looking forward to hearing from all of you eligible doctors!

Sincerely,
Still injured,
professoreric

grateful for the bird seed that i put on my balcony which brings the birds to sing in the morning and wake me up allowing me to watch their silhouettes through the curtains first thing each morning…

-professoreric

Have you had dreams with me in them despite the fact that we have never met? Have you constructed a picture of what I look like based on the various clues and comments I have made? Am I a short fat Filipino man with a bad smoking habit? Or a tall Trinidadian basketball player with a weakness for kettle corn? Or am I the hottest skinny white jew you have ever met? Or am I secretly a construction of the government to get calculated answerers on the pulse of the average American? These are all good guesses. But lets make it tangible.

I am looking for a new picture to represent me for all of my electronic personas. YOU, yes you, could be the creative genius to create my e-image… Please no porn. (will I regret saying that?…) seriously take a stab at what I look like. It does not have to be based in the realm of reality. Maybe I have wings and fangs? Maybe I have the build or a merman and work in a hot tub office room? Or maybe I have no legs and contently roll around life in my souped up wheelchair. You decide.

Winner gets the satisfaction of knowing that they created the e-me (and if I really like it and get a good pay check, I may just get a little surprise for the winner.) send all submissions to professoreric @jozjozjoz.com in a readable picture format (jpeg, pict, etc.) and don’t make it to huge, we don’t want joz getting’ angry. This is an exciting opportunity! We all await the e-me. Updates will of course be made for all to see! Thanks.

Sincerely,
professoreric