I don’t know why the blog disappeared for awhile, but thank goodness it’s back. Joz would kill me if it disappeared!
Archive for the ':: posts NOT by joz ::' Category
My co-worker - we’ll just call her “mommy” - showed me this ultrasound of her baby girl, taken this morning. I swear this photo has NOT been in any way “enhanced” or edited….. Do you see what I see??
Send John Murphy $40 with a handful of socks (preferably clean) and a little creative direction like “must have multiple arms and four eyes,” and he’ll darn your very own Stupid Creature. A typical pair of socks yields one Stupid Creature, which is able to stand on its own two stocking feet at 12 inches tall. For a taller or more stupid monster, sock it to him and send two pairs. Hint: The thinner and more elastic the sock, the larger the sock creature will be.
Enjoy!
When I was strolling down Madison Ave. last weekend, I came across this window and immediately thought of you…..
and for my sweet West Coast version of SJP
Yoshi - it’s good that she looks and not buys….
I know you have asked yourself this question many times. Tonya Harding is an important part of our collective history. And there are plenty of questions that still do not have answers. For these questions all we can do is fantasize: Are there still fans of Tonya’s out there? What has she been up to? And what would a date with Tonya be like? So many questions. Most can be found at her fan site. Who would have guessed it, yes, she still has a fan site. This is really weird. And even weirder all of the stories that have been rejected are still on the web page under rejected! Who does that? Someone wicked crazy, that’s who… Enjoy. -professoreric
Here is a daily random website i am not sure how i stumbled onto. it is full of delights. enjoy! hope it makes you smile joz! -professoreric
…when you are walking down the street and after asking for change a homeless gentleman says “Damn boy, you need to eat something, you skinny! Damn, you need to eat yourself some burritos!” and considers handing you back the change you gave him to buy one. Seriously, this happened to me on Friday. I don’t know if I will feel comfortable wearing shorts again for a while. Thank god I have no interest in spandex (no one should), or tight pants or baby tank tops (sorry WeHo club scene). Anyway, now I am body conscious again, great. Thanks homeless guy… Hope next time you are on the internet you check the blog and realize what you’ve done to me…
-professoreric
Joz, darling, I will make this quick. Typing hurts my little hand still so here is a little something to cheer you up. I just love this mag/website, and I think this picture might make you laugh. Read the captions and brows the other stuff, it will make you happy.
then go to “Find of the Week”
then specifically click on “25 jan 2004”
enjoy.
-professoreric
(mad props to Davy and Jason, and the rest of the found gang.)
Dear Pinky #2,
I am sorry I thought of amputating you this week in the midst of my turmoil. You were injured and just because no one else was there for me, I shouldn’t have turned around and thought for even one second that you are in any way superfluous. Now that we are on the road to recovery things are once again in perspective. I am so sorry…
Continue reading ‘An Open Letter to the Pinky Finger on my Right Hand:’
I am inspired by Shannon’s solution to my heath insurance crisis:
“If you can’t move to Canada or Cuba, I recommend the date-a-doctor route.”
Shannon, couldn’t agree more.
So…
Dear Queer, Gay, Bi, Curious, or even Female Doctors,
I would like to date you. I don’t just want to date you for your sparkling personality and your good looks, but also because I am an accident-prone person with no basic health insurance. In exchange for you fixing me when I break, I will pretty much do anything: cook, clean, pet-sit, and well other obvious significant other perks. As a test of our compatibility let us start by fixing my broken finger. After that there will be a nice date: movie, dinner, something… and we can further decide if we are meant for each other (especially until I get a job which values me enough to give me health insurance). So? What do you say. Huh? Lets give this a shot. I love those little scrubs you wear, and I am good at playing doctor too. Looking forward to hearing from all of you eligible doctors!
Sincerely,
Still injured,
professoreric
My finger got broken this weekend, and I am uninsured so I am screwed. I have called the LA Free Clinic, and they made me want to cry. They yelled at me and…
Continue reading ‘Broken and wanting to cry…’
106.4 million degrees
BEEP……………
Someone PLEASE turn on the airconditioning!
That is all……………….
Continue reading ‘At the tone, the temperature will be….’
grateful for the bird seed that i put on my balcony which brings the birds to sing in the morning and wake me up allowing me to watch their silhouettes through the curtains first thing each morning…
-professoreric
Ok, sorry to drop a heavy one on you but i need to get this out there… i was just driving on the PCH running and errand and out of the blue a car swerves and loses control and flies over the guardrail, over the oncoming traffic, and over the side of the PCH toward the ocean. I have never seen anything like that. i have seen accidents after the fact, i have even seen people dangling upside-down in their vehicle under the 10 freeway. but i have never seen anything so horrible happen right in front of me. We all slowed down for a moment trying to figure out what we as random motorists could do, and a few people quickly pulled over and took out their cell phones, and the rest of us just kept going. I feel horrible. I wish i had stopped and checked to see if the people in that car were ok, but i was already far past them when i came back to my senses. i am so fucked in the head right now. all i have to say is tell everyone close to you how much you care about them. we never know when we will be snatched away. I am not a religious person in any way, but i prayed to something, to everything, that these people somehow survived. ok. enough venting. thank you all for reading our little web page of nonsense. glad to somehow be a little part of your lives. -professoreric
Have you had dreams with me in them despite the fact that we have never met? Have you constructed a picture of what I look like based on the various clues and comments I have made? Am I a short fat Filipino man with a bad smoking habit? Or a tall Trinidadian basketball player with a weakness for kettle corn? Or am I the hottest skinny white jew you have ever met? Or am I secretly a construction of the government to get calculated answerers on the pulse of the average American? These are all good guesses. But lets make it tangible.
I am looking for a new picture to represent me for all of my electronic personas. YOU, yes you, could be the creative genius to create my e-image… Please no porn. (will I regret saying that?…) seriously take a stab at what I look like. It does not have to be based in the realm of reality. Maybe I have wings and fangs? Maybe I have the build or a merman and work in a hot tub office room? Or maybe I have no legs and contently roll around life in my souped up wheelchair. You decide.
Winner gets the satisfaction of knowing that they created the e-me (and if I really like it and get a good pay check, I may just get a little surprise for the winner.) send all submissions to professoreric @jozjozjoz.com in a readable picture format (jpeg, pict, etc.) and don’t make it to huge, we don’t want joz getting’ angry. This is an exciting opportunity! We all await the e-me. Updates will of course be made for all to see! Thanks.
Sincerely,
professoreric
Old stuff you have lying around and get up to $300 bucks…
Click below to read the details…
Continue reading ‘Get money for your bad teenage writing!’
Once she gets into your bloodstream there is nothing you can do… but come back for more. as evidence, read this testimonial from my sis:
“Praise for Joz
I like to start out my morning by reading the paper on the computer. I read the Globe for Red Sox information. I read La Prensa for Nicaraguan news. I sometimes even read my home town weekly paper, but that’s mainly to see if anyone I know had gotten arrested. Until recently, my morning news gobbling felt complete. Until the day professoreric turned me on to JozJozJoz. That day everything changed. Now I need my Joz fix first thing, before I tackle the latest worker strike or rural drought in the RAAN of Nicaragua. I admit it! I’m an addict. Addicted to JozJozJoz. Well, let he who has never read her blog cast the first stone.
That’s all I have to say about it. Cheers! Missbrookline.”
There you have it. It’s 10:00, do you know where your kids are?
for example, an empty, pointless post. hi joz!
For reals! at a yard sale today! it is beautiful. the lady that sold it to me said she found it at some antique store or something while driving around the Midwest long ago. and in the center of it she painted a cactus scene, which i just didn’t have the heart to destroy. so i used a crowbar and pried the wood off the back which it was painted on and replaced it with some plywood i bought at a hardware store which i first sprayed with my favorite spray-paint which turns anything into a chalk board. now i have a chalkboard and a gun rack in one! it is beautiful and i have two little cacti, which i purchased to put on the little shelf underneath it. i love my gun rack. now if only i loved guns… but i am gonna ask for one of those huge supersoakers for my birthday so i can fit it snugly on my gun rack (which is capable of holding 4 standard sized shotguns). jozjozjoz will have to come over and take a picture…
While the monsterous Ms. MS is safely behind bars, our favorite morning show - NBC’s Today Show - is having a contest to bring the domestic diva out from the ranks of the average person.
3,000 would be divas from all walks of live submitted a 1 minute video and an essay in hopes of being choosen to show their stuff.
A wonderful colleague and friend of mine from who works with me at the UCLA Anderson School (yes, Sharky is a Bruin for pay) Sonya Nimri is one of the 3 Deuling Divas!
She’s very talented and could replace big bad Martha in split second with her fabulous dinner parties, interior design, and famous “make something out of nothing” ideas.
But we need your help!
The 3 dueling diva’s will go head-to-head on Monday’s show, competing for the top spot and their own segment on the Today Show with our four favorite friends, Katie, Matt, Al and Ann! Voting takes place this Monday and Tuesday, April 5th and 6th at the Today Show’s Domestic Diva website after the head-to-head competition is over.
So let’s spread the word and help Sonya win her own segment on the TODAY SHOW! Go to the Today Show website on Monday and Tuesday and VOTE!
Send an email to your friends, family and even people you don’t know!
Thanks in advance to you all and …………….GO SONYA!!!!!
Why? because she is a good friend to the professor, and is always very very nice when I talk to her on the phone or via email. What can I say? She is an oasis of goodness in a sea of badness. she is a chewy moist oatmeal raisin cookie, in a box of crumbly ones. She is wicked smart. She is popular. She is busy. But mainly, the professor likes her, and that’s enough for me. I would even help her move, as it is something I have always excelled at.
Thank you.
- Miss Brookline
(care of brother: professoreric)
So here is a poem that a friend shared with me that made me really happy today. Hope i don’t get a cease and desist for republishing someone’s works… enjoy. -the prof.
———————————————-
From Blossoms
From blossoms comes
this brown paper bag of peaches
we bought from the boy
at the bend in the road where we turned toward
signs painted Peaches.
From laden boughs, from hands,
from sweet fellowship in the bins,
comes nectar at the roadside, succulent
peaches we devour, dusty skin and all,
comes the familiar dust of summer, dust we eat.
O, to take what we love inside,
to carry within us an orchard, to eat
not only the skin, but the shade,
not only the sugar, but the days, to hold
the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into
the round jubilance of peach.
There are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.
-Li-Young Lee
So yet another state has some gutsy people in its gov. to start making sure that gays (lgbt… whatever…) are coupling properly… Soon we will spread our gay marriage all over this country… and then… we will marry the world! Bwahaha!
i got dibs on marrying nicaragua (so warm and curvy!)
One of my friends sent a mass e-mail to let everyone know about the premier of a show that she was involved with called “Playing it Straight,” which I believe will be on Fox. I know friends are supposed to be kind, but I couldn’t hold back the vomit that was rising in my throat when I found out that someone I know is endorsing this unpalatable garbage. So I wrote her back an angry e-mail to send to her bosses. (I won’t share that with you because it was too polite, instead I will rant.)
Continue reading ‘Bad Gay Media! –or– Why not “Kirstie Alley Hosts: Same Sex Shot Gun Weddings”’
One reason I have disappeared is because I have a job that pays me overtime, and I get a lot of it. Recently I have been able to stay in my office and catch up on some things; this also gives me a chance to catch about 15 hours a day of CNN. I have noticed, and you may have as well, that whenever they start talking about those club-meds of the “terrorist” world, “the training camps” they always show pictures of the T.I.T.’s (terrorists in training) climbing on monkey bars. I mean it really is in almost every story about it, and it is usually different stock footage.
This leads me to two major conclusions:
(click below to read them…)
Continue reading ‘Playgrounds: the training grounds for Terrorists!’
Recent Comments