Archive for the ':: joz ::' Category

PIC: Happy 70th birthday, Dad. I miss you everyday. (Taken 9/14/2003)

PIC: Happy 70th birthday, Dad. I miss you everyday. (Taken 9/14/2003)

Win a Date With Jozjozjoz! To The Blogger Prom!

i’m supposed to devise some sort of contest to decide who takes joz to the blogger prom. ummm, got any ideas?

and before you ask, no, joz hasn’t broken up with yoshi. joz and yoshi have been together for a really long time and joz has figured out that yoshi is much more pleasant when not forced to attend social functions with strangers. when the yoshi could be at home, watching baseball and drinking beer. yoshi is anti-social. joz is whatever you’d call the opposite of anti-social.

ANYWAY!

answer these questions: why do you want to go to blogger prom? why would anyone want to go to blogger prom? WTF is the blogger prom?* Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

truly, this contest is going to be simple. tell me who you are, why you want to go (please, 100 words or less, joz’s attention span is rapidly declining thanks to twitter), and give me a new, creative, and inspiring tagline for jozjozjoz.com and you’re in–provided you pass a standard background check and pee in a cup.

entries must be submitted via comments to this post by 11:59 pm PST on friday, july 17, 2009

the winner will be notified by sometime saturday morning and given instructions on how to redeem their prize.

see? simple!

FINE PRINT: THIS PROMOTION IS OFFERED IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. THIS PROMOTION IS VOID OUTSIDE THE JURISDICTIONS LISTED ABOVE, AND WHEREVER PROHIBITED BY LAW. THIS PROMOTION SHALL BE CONSTRUED AND EVALUATED IN ACCORDANCE WITH ALL APPLICABLE LAWS AND REGULATIONS (THAT WE KNOW OF). THIS PROMOTION IS OPEN SOLELY TO PERSONS WHO ARE LEGAL RESIDENTS OF, AND CURRENTLY RESIDING IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. IN ORDER TO ENTER, RESIDENTS OF THE JURISDICTIONS LISTED ABOVE MUST BE 21 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER. ALL ENTRANTS MUST HAVE AN ACTIVE AND BEATING HEART AT TIME OF ENTRY. BY ENTERING, YOU REPRESENT THAT YOU HAVE READ THE “OFFICIAL” RULES AND ANY APPLICABLE WEB SITE POLICIES AND/OR TERMS OF USE, AND THAT YOU AGREE TO BE BOUND (!) BY ALL OF THEM. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN (ALTHOUGH A BEER WOULDN’T HURT). A PURCHASE WILL NOT INCREASE AN ENTRANT’S CHANCES OF WINNING A PRIZE (WELL, IT MIGHT).

*the exclusive invite-only Blogger Prom 2009, which takes place at the Andaz Hotel July 22, 2009. Free cocktails, delicious food, sweet giveaways, a gorgeous venue and only bloggers in kitschy, cool, weird prom attire.

Sweet Dreams!



Sweet Dreams!, originally uploaded by !!! :: jozjozjoz :: !!!.

Nap time!

-J
Pecked out on my iPhone. Sorry for any typos.

Uploaded by !!! :: jozjozjoz :: !!! on 24 Apr 09, 2.05PM PDT.

My iPhone burned my feet

I’ve been trying not to complain about it, but I now officially hate my iPhone.

For a while, I had a long love/hate relationship with it. I loved everything about my iPhone… except for the phone part, which I hated.

You see, I’ve had AT&T for a long time and never had problems with reception in my house with my old pink Motorola RAZR.

But once I got my iPhone, people kept complaining about dropped calls, bad reception, or going directly to voicemail when calling me when I was at home. It has gotten so bad, I am using my land line, Yoshi’s T-Mobile cell phone, or my work (Verizon) cell phone instead of my iPhone to talk to people.

WTF is the point of me having my iPhone if I am using every other phone EXCEPT the iPhone!?

Anyway, I got a very important phone call a little while ago and I ran outside to answer the call. (Sometimes if I stand out on the sidewalk near the street, I can get a signal, but people STILL say that I’m cutting in and out).

But I ran outside with no shoes on.

And the darn sun-baked Southern California sidewalk is freakin’ HOT in the middle of the afternoon!

I was running back an forth on the sidewalk… ow! ow! ow! My poor feet!

(I don’t even care what the neighbors must have thought if they saw me running around out there!)

I burned my footsies and I totally blame my iPhone.

When I came back inside Yoshi had no sympathy for me… just some great advice… “WEAR SHOES NEXT TIME!”

(Either I am stubborn or I haven’t learned my lesson yet, but I’m thinking I don’t need to wear shoes… I need my iPhone to work in my house, dammit!!!)

Arrrgh

Entire post written.

Eaten by WP.

GAH!

Going to bed now.

Welcome Sharky the Kid!

Apologies for not properly welcoming and introducing the newest member of the ‘jozjozjoz networkâ„¢.’ I have been overworked, underpaid, and incredibly sleep-deprived. I’ve spent much of my Sunday recuperating. All I’ve done today is eat, sleep, nap, and look at blogs.

Luckily, it looks like Sharky the Kid has managed to settle it in quite nicely. So anyway, please welcome *tah-dah!* SHARKY THE KID!

Some things you should know about Sharky:
1) Sharky is not my kid. Don’t ask me how old Sharky is. Sharky is not jailbait.
2) Just because ‘Sharky the Kid’ writes on jawsjawsjaws.com jozjozjoz.com doesn’t mean I have a shark theme here… yet.
3) Sharky really is single & quite a catch. You’d be lucky to reel in a date with Sharky. No crabby people allowed. [Hey! Stop throwing tomatoes!] Ok, I’ll stop with the shark/fishing puns now. But you DO realize that if you want to go out with with Sharky, you must meet with my approval. Or bribe me.

And as I said when Hunny Yoshi started posting things:

Please be nice and leave lots of comments, so maybe there will be more Hunnyposts Sharkyposts in the future.

Of course, if you start neglecting me, I will be mad… so don’t forget to leave me lots of comments, too. [Or have you forgotten that I’m a comment whore?]

Forget ice cream sandwiches…

No choco tacos

Screw Klondike bars

My favorite icy delights are Melona bars. (Not to be confused with the Korean porn chick Melona.)

melona.jpg

The original ‘melon-flavored’ (hence the name “Melona”) are definitely the best, but the strawberry ones are choice, as well. [Did I really just call something “choice?!”]

Heidi blogged about them a while ago and I’m shamelessly stealing her description of them…
Made in Korea, Melona looks like a pastel-green, single Popsicle. It’s made of water, molasses, skim milk powder, sugar and melon flavor. Each 2.46-ounce bar contains 5 grams of fat, 4 of them saturated, and 19 grams of carbohydrate, including 15 grams of sugar. Price is about 79 cents.

Unfortunately, the ice cream truck guy doesn’t sell them, so I’m with Yvonne on being an ice-cream-truck-guy-hater.

“Naked Ravioli”

I swear to god that the words “Naked Ravioli” just came out of my boss’ mouth during a business phone conversation.

I mean, it’s a real dish and all, but geez… I don’t wanna hear those words at work!

It’s not like I work in a restaurant or a strip joint!

I admit it.

There is actually a Hollywood film that I’m excited to see.

It’s not X2: X-Men United. (Not that I’m not interested, it’s just that I’m not EXCITED.)

It IS the Matrix: Reloaded. I can only imagine how much extra traffic dear krixy is getting to her site (aside from me looking at all the new stuff there, that is).

And I’m going to make it a point to see Better Luck Tomorrow by the end of next week.

I can’t believe I might actually spend money to see a movie or two.

Shocking.

The Revolution is ON!

Last Friday night, we saw the one & only Margaret Cho at the Wiltern on her “Revolution” Tour.

chorevolution.bmp

I’ve never seen her more adorable! I vote that she always wear her hair in braided pigtails. I know that OutOutBlogger was there on Saturday night… did she have pigtails that night, too?

Now if you haven’t seen this show, this is what you missed…

…Margaret now tackles the axis of evil, her travels through Thailand’s red light district, the explosion of child birth, bartering sex for household chores, revolutionizing your self-esteem, the joy of bodily functions, her loser ex-boyfriend, and of course, her world-famous mother, plus much more that cannot be printed… (excerpted from her press release about the tour).

My encounter with Bernie Mac

Today, I was talking to the receptionist in our lobby when Bernie Mac & his entourage showed up to a meeting with the big whigs. Bernie was wearing (I shit you not) a bright mustard-colored suit with a matching hat. He actually looked good, even though he resembled a giant bottle of French’s.

berniemac.bmp

Bernie walked right up to me, put his arm around me and said, “Hey there! How are you today?” (because we’re best friends and shit, you know).

I put my fake I’m-smiling-even-though-I-don’t-like-your-show-that-much-smile on my face and started to shoot the shit with him, since D (the receptionist) was about to get on the phone to let the big cheese know that Bernie was here. Before D had a chance to get a dial tone, the big glass doors to the executive offices swung open and a swarm of people came out with their schmoozy smiles and handshakes.

I got caught in the cross-fire of greetings. Bernie’s people were saying hi to the big whigs and vice-versa. And somebody actually GUSHED to Bernie about his current show on Fox (it wasn’t me, I swear).

I was too busy trying not to be crushed and trampled in all the oozing and schmoozing.

I’m happy to report, I made it out alive. Whew!

Just one of those days…

I’m grateful that people put up with me… What a pain I am!

Here’s to a better day today!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From yesterday’s chat with dj mofo

Me: I’m just having one of those days
Her: it will get better
Me: i forgot my lunch, forgot to take lunch early enough so i could leave the lot, missed the lunch truck, didn’t have change for the vending machine. And burnt the popcorn I popped because I was too busy watching “people’s court” instead of watching my popcorn in the microwave.
Her: i say time to go home
Me: It’s not even 2pm here yet!
Her: baaa just go ‘i’m not taking it’ and leave
Me: If I could, I would!
Me: [SIGH]
Her: what
Me: eating cup noodles ramen. i bet i’ll throw up later
Her: nice. why?
Me: i get sick when i eat junk like this
Her: then why are you eating it?
Me: because my popcorn is burnt

Have a helping of SARS?

I’ve been resisting the urge to blog about the war, SARS, & good ol’ Dubya (you know, scary things).

Last night, my Uncle G had his 60th birthday party in a Chinese restaurant in Rowland Heights (large Asian population).

The dinner conversation revolved around SARS… what kind of face mask is preferable… how they take your temperature at the airport… how people get it… etc. Not at all appropriate dinner conversation material, IMO.

My other Uncle S is on his way back to Taiwan for a short trip & my Mom and Auntie (S’s two younger sisters) nagged him about drinking water, taking vitamins, etc, etc while on his trip. His wife says he’ll be quarantined for two weeks after he gets back… he’ll be sleeping in the dog house with their golden lab.

But I still like Margaret Cho’s line from her show on Friday night.

She’d been in Toronto for her tour and everybody was worried about SARS… Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.

She said that when she got off the plane, people saw her and put on their little face masks. The rest of that bit can’t be conveyed via words, but suffice it to say, it was hilarious.

Happy May Day!

My blog idol Joelle said today “Go find a pole to dance around or something. It just occurred to me that strippers celebrate May Day every day.”

I realized that I have no acceptable pole around which I can dance.

But then I remembered that Don and Mike had a public service announcement a little while back about this…

Perfect for all you do-it-yourself-ers!

My brain really DID barf, I think…

Ow.

Yesterday it was my back (yes, it still hurts, but it’s amazing what 3 Midol will do for you).

Today, I have a sharp-shooting pain in my left ear. I think my brain is overwhelmed and it just had to hurl.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Go Lakers! Go Laker Girl!

Tonight the Lakers are playing another game in their ‘Quest for Quatro’ and since I might not be able to catch the game, I know Yvonne will be rooting for the Lakers TWICE AS HARD (if that’s possible) on my behalf.

Here’s a little something for Yvonne.

Ow, my back.

It hurts. REALLY bad. I have such bad posture/chair at work.

It’s KILLING me.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Soon I will be rifling through the first aid kit for drugs and painkillers.

How did this happen?

I found out that on March 3, 2003 (03/03/03), evidently my site was #24 in the Top 25 most popular sites according to Popdex.

How the hell did that happen?

That would be above #29 (The SciFi.com Battlestar Galactica site) and #32 (Wired News: Monkeylike Baby Bot Meets World). I’m in shock and awe.

It must have been The Infamous Check.

payticket.jpg
Are you sick of seeing this yet? And “hi” to Kristina and her harem!

And *poof!* the stains are gone…

I should mention that I wore The Shirt to the wonderful dinner at Shamshiri the other night. [Yes, I wore the same shirt two nights in a row. So sue me.]

I was telling J & C how I had stained it with the pen marks. I looked down to show them the stains, but *poof!* they weren’t there.

And then I realized that I had worn the shirt inside-out.

And when I turned the shirt right-side-out in the restroom at the restaurant, *voila!* the stains returned.

[sigh]

Our exciting Saturday night…

On Saturday night, we went out with our friends J & C for dinner at Shamshiri Grill, a Persian restaurant as a belated birthday dinner for my Hunny. The food was very yummy.

shamshiri.bmp
No, that is not my car in the picture. I wish.

We headed over to J & C’s place afterwards for some more chit-chat and to have some tea. C went over the list of teas they had… red tea, black tea, green tea, Earl Grey, chamomile, etc, etc.

We settled on regular green tea because we didn’t want anything too complicated and C says:

“Yeah, I don’t know what people are thinking with some of those mixed teas. I once tried one that was supposed to be toffee tea, but it tasted like butt-shavings. Blecch.”

J asked if C had actually tasted butt-shavings, but C said: “No, but evidently they taste like toffee.”

Um, ew!

I don’t care what anyone says. I will never be able to drink toffee tea now. Ever.

Ew.

Letter you never want to see from your tenants…

…but that I actually sent to my landlords.

Yes, I really sent it.

Yes, just like this.

— excerpt from actual e-mail to my landlords —
Subject: FYI (otherwise known as “Things Joz broke this weekend while you were gone”)

Just so you know, the water faucet outside your kitchen door is turned off because the switch to the hose is broken. I found this out today when I tried to clean the driveway and instead was sprayed in the face with a giant stream of water. The pieces to the switch are in the garage on the desk (also with the newly washed tablecloth).

Please don’t try to turn on the water, as you will be sprayed in the face (like I was). Since the girls [dogs Moca and Terra] now cannot drink from the faucet, I put a couple of bowls of water out for them.

The other thing is the string on the garage door got wet in the rain and when I grabbed it, one end either broke or came undone. I don’t know which.

The good news is that I did not break the dogs, so hopefully you will not worry too much the next time you guys leave us alone here. In fact, I had a good time with the girls [again, the dogs Moca & Terra] and there was only one Terra-piddling-accident inside our place, so all was good.

Be glad that Y [my Hunny] is the one who is normally home & not me.

Thanks!

Yay! My computer is back!

That is all.

Now to pass out and sleep.

I wore The Shirt today

Faded black erase marker stain and all…

…then I held my ball-point pen the wrong way and marked all over the same poor shirt with it.

No, not on purpose.

Arrrgh.

How do you remove a dry erase marker stain?

This isn’t supposed to be “clever” or “funny.”

Seriously, I dropped a marker and my shirt blocked the fall.

I was given a BRAND NEW shirt and got it stained the second day I had it.

Grrrrr.

Help.

MORE: It was lavender shirt vs. black dry erase marker.

Right now, the score is
Shirt: 0
Marker: 1

And I’ve already tried to spot remove it (tried soap, shampoo, detergent). The stain is a little lighter… but not much. [sigh]

Cha-ching!

I was chatting with Yvonne and all of a sudden she stopped typing. It turned out she was pulling her son’s tooth…

…Our parents are from Taiwan & were still learning about American culture, so when my brother and I were kids & losing our teeth (boy that was a long time ago), we wanted to get our tooth fairy money.

So, like good kids, we told Mom and Dad about the tooth fairy modus-operandi and we conned them into putting $20-bills under our pillows for each tooth.

Cha-ching!




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