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No choco tacos…

Screw Klondike bars…

My favorite icy delights are Melona bars. (Not to be confused with the Korean porn chick Melona.)

The original ‘melon-flavored’ (hence the name “Melona”) are definitely the best, but the strawberry ones are choice, as well. [Did I really just call something “choice?!”]

Heidi blogged about them a while ago and I’m shamelessly stealing her description of them…
Made in Korea, Melona looks like a pastel-green, single Popsicle. It’s made of water, molasses, skim milk powder, sugar and melon flavor. Each 2.46-ounce bar contains 5 grams of fat, 4 of them saturated, and 19 grams of carbohydrate, including 15 grams of sugar. Price is about 79 cents.

Unfortunately, the ice cream truck guy doesn’t sell them, so I’m with Yvonne on being an ice-cream-truck-guy-hater.

There is actually a Hollywood film that I’m excited to see.

It’s not X2: X-Men United. (Not that I’m not interested, it’s just that I’m not EXCITED.)

It IS the Matrix: Reloaded. I can only imagine how much extra traffic dear krixy is getting to her site (aside from me looking at all the new stuff there, that is).

And I’m going to make it a point to see Better Luck Tomorrow by the end of next week.

I can’t believe I might actually spend money to see a movie or two.

Shocking.

Today, I was talking to the receptionist in our lobby when Bernie Mac & his entourage showed up to a meeting with the big whigs. Bernie was wearing (I shit you not) a bright mustard-colored suit with a matching hat. He actually looked good, even though he resembled a giant bottle of French’s.

Bernie walked right up to me, put his arm around me and said, “Hey there! How are you today?” (because we’re best friends and shit, you know).

I put my fake I’m-smiling-even-though-I-don’t-like-your-show-that-much-smile on my face and started to shoot the shit with him, since D (the receptionist) was about to get on the phone to let the big cheese know that Bernie was here. Before D had a chance to get a dial tone, the big glass doors to the executive offices swung open and a swarm of people came out with their schmoozy smiles and handshakes.

I got caught in the cross-fire of greetings. Bernie’s people were saying hi to the big whigs and vice-versa. And somebody actually GUSHED to Bernie about his current show on Fox (it wasn’t me, I swear).

I was too busy trying not to be crushed and trampled in all the oozing and schmoozing.

I’m happy to report, I made it out alive. Whew!

I’ve been resisting the urge to blog about the war, SARS, & good ol’ Dubya (you know, scary things).

Last night, my Uncle G had his 60th birthday party in a Chinese restaurant in Rowland Heights (large Asian population).

The dinner conversation revolved around SARS… what kind of face mask is preferable… how they take your temperature at the airport… how people get it… etc. Not at all appropriate dinner conversation material, IMO.

My other Uncle S is on his way back to Taiwan for a short trip & my Mom and Auntie (S’s two younger sisters) nagged him about drinking water, taking vitamins, etc, etc while on his trip. His wife says he’ll be quarantined for two weeks after he gets back… he’ll be sleeping in the dog house with their golden lab.

But I still like Margaret Cho’s line from her show on Friday night.

She’d been in Toronto for her tour and everybody was worried about SARS… Severe Asian Racism Syndrome.

She said that when she got off the plane, people saw her and put on their little face masks. The rest of that bit can’t be conveyed via words, but suffice it to say, it was hilarious.

Ow.

Yesterday it was my back (yes, it still hurts, but it’s amazing what 3 Midol will do for you).

Today, I have a sharp-shooting pain in my left ear. I think my brain is overwhelmed and it just had to hurl.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

It hurts. REALLY bad. I have such bad posture/chair at work.

It’s KILLING me.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Soon I will be rifling through the first aid kit for drugs and painkillers.

I should mention that I wore The Shirt to the wonderful dinner at Shamshiri the other night. [Yes, I wore the same shirt two nights in a row. So sue me.]

I was telling J & C how I had stained it with the pen marks. I looked down to show them the stains, but *poof!* they weren’t there.

And then I realized that I had worn the shirt inside-out.

And when I turned the shirt right-side-out in the restroom at the restaurant, *voila!* the stains returned.

[sigh]

…but that I actually sent to my landlords.

Yes, just like this.

— excerpt from actual e-mail to my landlords —
Subject: FYI (otherwise known as “Things Joz broke this weekend while you were gone”)

Just so you know, the water faucet outside your kitchen door is turned off because the switch to the hose is broken. I found this out today when I tried to clean the driveway and instead was sprayed in the face with a giant stream of water. The pieces to the switch are in the garage on the desk (also with the newly washed tablecloth).

Please don’t try to turn on the water, as you will be sprayed in the face (like I was). Since the girls [dogs Moca and Terra] now cannot drink from the faucet, I put a couple of bowls of water out for them.

The other thing is the string on the garage door got wet in the rain and when I grabbed it, one end either broke or came undone. I don’t know which.

The good news is that I did not break the dogs, so hopefully you will not worry too much the next time you guys leave us alone here. In fact, I had a good time with the girls [again, the dogs Moca & Terra] and there was only one Terra-piddling-accident inside our place, so all was good.

Be glad that Y [my Hunny] is the one who is normally home & not me.

Thanks!

Faded black erase marker stain and all…

…then I held my ball-point pen the wrong way and marked all over the same poor shirt with it.

No, not on purpose.

Arrrgh.

I was chatting with Yvonne and all of a sudden she stopped typing. It turned out she was pulling her son’s tooth…

…Our parents are from Taiwan & were still learning about American culture, so when my brother and I were kids & losing our teeth (boy that was a long time ago), we wanted to get our tooth fairy money.

So, like good kids, we told Mom and Dad about the tooth fairy modus-operandi and we conned them into putting $20-bills under our pillows for each tooth.

Cha-ching!

Yvonne was saying how her tits always popping out of her Wonder Bra. Joelle and gingersmack concurred.

Without getting too specific about my personal experiences on this topic, you should know that “Oh, hello, what are you doing out here?” has been heard coming out of my mouth.

My theory is that the whole “Wonder Bra” thing is actually a clever ploy from some guy who wanted to see rogue tits popping out… Market the “wonder bras” to women “enhance their bustlines,” but REALLY design them to push boobs out for the world to see.

Genius! Abso-fucking-lutely genius.

Where does the time go. I can’t remember what I did yesterday & last week seems like a lifetime ago.

I blame Mai Tai Monday.