Archive for the 'joz = weirdo magnet' Category

Two quick stories.

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on March 6, 2008
in food, i love la, joz = dork and joz = weirdo magnet
. 7 Comments

It’s 5am and I am supposed to be done with my paper that is due at 6pm tonight. Let’s just say that I’m not done yet, but if I really focus, I should be able to complete it before I have to leave for work 7:45 today.

So clearly I shouldn’t be blogging.

But then again, I should have gotten more than an hour and a half of sleep last night, too. Since when do I pay attention to what I should or shouldn’t do, anyway?! (To be fair, I woke up on my own and couldn’t go back to sleep even though I allowed myself a longer nap than that.)

Oh well. I promised two quick stories.

STORY #1 (This story is for my personality twin Meeta, who probably has 10 similiar stories she could share)

This happened on Tuesday afternoon, around lunchtime.

Despite having packed leftover Thai food for lunch for Tuesday, I was my usual dorky self and left my lunch at home by the front door instead of taking it with me. (I blame it on being late to my doctor’s appointment, which was also my fault.)

Anyway, by lunchtime, I wasn’t that hungry but I was regretting not having anything to put in my mouth. I hadn’t planned on taking lunch, so I just wanted to go get something quick and come right back. I figured my best chance of not getting into any trouble was to jump in the car, find the nearest drive-thru, grab some grub, and get back to my work ASAP.

The nearest drive-thru I could find was a Jack in the Crack and so I turned into the (tiny) driveway and was met by a line of cars that wrapped around into the (tiny) parking lot. As I looked in my mirror to see if I could back up and make an escape, a car pulled in behind me and I was trapped. The parking lot was so small, there was really room for one lane of cars, so all the people parking in the lot were now trapped, too.

“Oh well, hopefully the line moves quickly,” I thought to myself.

At that moment, this tall, slender man wearing sunglasses and a business casual outfit walked out of the restaurant. He was heading toward the parking lot (which I was now effectively blocking completely) and then he walked toward my car and motioned for me to roll down my window. I assumed he was going to tell me which car was his so I could move out of the way a little.

Instead, he asked for my number.

Whaaaaaaaaa?! I’M SITTING IN LINE AT THE DRIVE-THRU AT JITB AND A GUY IS HITTING ON ME?! WTF!

I’ll admit, the guy was kind of cute, but I did not expect him to ask for my number.

“Sorry,” I sputtered. “I’m married.” (So it’s not technically true, but it might as well be and really, isn’t that the most compassionate lie I could have told him?)

“Oh,” he replied. He was going to say something else, but I cut him off. “Thanks for asking though, that’s quite flattering, but sorry…”

“It’s ok,” he smiled at me. “You’re blocking me in, by the way.”

I looked over at the direction of his car and I played innocent, “Oh? Sorry about that! I’ll get out of the way as soon as the cars ahead of me move.” And then the gods finally shined some luck down on me and the cars started moving. I started rolling up my window and he said, “Bye. See you around.”

“No, I won’t!” I thought, as I pretended to focus on driving my car forward 5 feet. I saw him pull out of his spot and try to squeeze his car past mine. As he passed me, he waved at me again and I just kind of nodded at him and looked away.

At least he wasn’t a creep and he was generally nice about it all, but when I told Yoshi about it and how I ABSOLUTELY WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS and not trying to attract any kind of attention to myself, Yoshi just kind of laughed at me… because strangers are constantly coming up and talking to me (usually not hitting on me), and I am always swearing that I didn’t do anything to egg it on.

The joke is that I’m somehow “receptive” to strangers, but many people have witnessed this happening and I REALLY AM NOT BEHAVING AS IF I ENJOY TALKING TO STRANGERS.

The consensus is that I’m just a “freak magnet.” And I since I can’t explain it, I can’t really dispute it.

Lesson learned: No more fast food. (Do you remember the time I went through the drive-thru at Taco Bell?!)

STORY #2:
I could tell a much more colorful story about my dinner with EB and how we walked down to the local pizza joint last night and ordered a giant 18″ pizza and how we are plotting our next weekend trip + my graduation party, etc.

But instead I’m going to gyp you on the second story and give you a condensed version so I can get back to my paper.

The upshot: I walked out of my house without my keys and we found ourselves locked out. (Ok, technically, *I* locked us both out, but it sounded better the other way.)

By the time we got back to my house after dinner, EB had most of a giant 18″ pizza in one arm, a bag of candy and other stuff from Rite-Aid in the other arm, and I was sitting on the steps by the front door, desperately emptying out my purse in search of my keys.

Lucky for us, Yoshi happened to come home moments after I began purging the contents of my purse on to the doorstep. EB hollered out to Yoshi to come help us and open the door and Yoshi took one look at us and said, “Y’all are out of luck. I’m going in through the backdoor.”

Yoshi did not realize I really didn’t have my keys since it would have been a good assumption that we would have had to drive to go out to dinner. (We DO live in LA, after all…)

“How is it possible that you lost your keys between the car and the front door?” asked Yoshi.

“We didn’t drive!!! We walked!!!” I whined.

Then EB started in on me because before we left the house I had convinced him that the pizza joint was only two blocks away, when it was really 2 blocks one way + almost 3 really, really long blocks the other way. “See? If we had driven instead of walking that whole long way, we would not have this problem,” he pointed out.

Great. As if having Yoshi to tease me wasn’t enough. Now I’ve got EB and his giant pizza giving me grief, too. And he threatened to punish me by eating the candy he’d bought for me at Rite-Aid. (I pointed out to him that he’s allergic to some of it.)

Finally Yoshi relented and walked toward us to open the front door (and so I could put everything back inside my purse again).

And yes, my keys were sitting right by the front door.

Where I had left my Thai food the day before.

Perfect, no?

I’m (temporarily) deaf. But I think I’m (permanently) old.

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on February 11, 2008
in General and joz = weirdo magnet
. 12 Comments

(The text below may seem disjointed because it came from some IMs I just exchanged with Bossdude.)

I just got home from the Mika concert at the Wiltern. Since Yoshi refused to go with me, I convinced our friend LS to come with. Yoshi did play chauffeur, though (thanks, Hunny!)

I felt old. The place was filled with 13 year old girls in skimpy outfits. And then there were a whole bunch of gay guys. Weird crowd.

But fun fun show.

We had “floor” tickets which are like right up front and general admission (no seats! Scary!)

And we were about to go inside and these two little girls were like, “Does anyone want to sit?”

And me and my friend were like, “SEATS!?? WE’RE WE WANT SEATS!”

And the girls were sooo happy!

They were like “OMG! OMG! Really? OMG!”

So cute!

Then we got up to the seats and there were already 3 people sitting there. And this guy was sitting there with two littler boys and he goes “So my daughter convinced you to trade tickets, huh?”

I was like “Yeah.” (pointing at the screaming craziness that was the floor)

“I’m old now and all that down there does not look like fun to me anymore.”

Yes, I’m old now.

Well, I’m not 13 anymore, anyway. That’s for damn sure. I also don’t dress like a 13 year old it seems.

There were some really inappropriate outfits there tonight

I was like “Really? Who let you out the door wearing that?”

And since I’m old, I officially have to go to bed now

I can’t stay up late after doing stuff like this

Glad the concert was close by (at the Wiltern) and not some place gawdawfully far like Glen Helen Pavilion!

Thanks again to LS for going with me and to Yoshi for driving us & picking us up!

And thanks to Mika and the band for putting on such a great show!

I should be mad, but I’m not.

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on February 10, 2008
in General, joz = dork and joz = weirdo magnet
. 7 Comments

I had a long and exhausting day yesterday and since I had been up since 5am, I was pooped.

Yoshi and I went to bed a little after 9pm… so early! I was in the middle of deep slumber when my phone started ringing loudly; the ringtone set to one of the most obnoxious ones I have.

It 12:30am and my friend EB was texting me: Let’s go out! Want to drive to Mexico?

Mexico? WTF?!?!

I was planning on just ignoring him but that ringtone really startled me and though I was still tired, my heart was beating quickly and I had to get out of bed.

I ended up calling him back to ask him what he was up to but that since I have to work tomorrow, Mexico wasn’t an option. (Yes, it was a real offer, not a “Ha ha! Let’s talk about going to Mexico but not really go” sort of thing. He means it when he says stuff like “Let’s fly to ____ RIGHT NOW!!!!”) He threw out the idea of going to a casino together, but I told him that I wasn’t planning on gambling so I’d go just to watch him play. And he’s like “That’s boring for you. Besides I might play for like 24 hours straight and then that would be really dull for you.” So we decided not to get together tonight and maybe meet up for a movie tomorrow night after I’m done with work.

Normally, a 12:30am text message from him would not bother me… he’s one of those friends who can call (literally) anytime night or day. And there was no way for him to know that I was actually sleeping when he texted me. But it’s now 4:30 and I have watched TV, chatted online, had a snack, and learned that I have no idea how to use my new cell phone, and I’m still not sleeping.

I’m going to get back into bed with Yoshi now and hope that I can get some shuteye before I have to get to work tomorrow.

Yes, I do have a lot of that. (But no comment on the other thing.)

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on January 19, 2008
in :: dad ::, :: family ::, :: mom ::, General, b-school, joz = dork and joz = weirdo magnet
. 10 Comments

So I was awakened not too long ago by my Mom’s friend RH (indeed, a really close family friend), who is helping us with a few things. When we talk it’s usually a frenetic conversation in Chinglish– both Chinese and English– depending on the topic.

When we were done talking shop, she asked me how I was doing because I haven’t seen her for a while and she mentioned that she saw a recent picture of me and noticed that I had gained some weight since I last saw her. (Ahhh, there’s nothing like the blunt, tactless commentary that you’ll get from a close Taiwanese/Chinese lady friend. If it wasn’t absolutely true and obvious, I probably would have been pretty mad. Besides, it “comes from a good place,” just like it does when my Mom says similar things. Although after all these years of carping about my weight, my Mom has finally stopped with the fat comments.)

The last time RH and I spent any time together was when my father was in the hospital. It has been about a year and a half since that time and I am not proud to say that I’ve gained something like 30 lbs since then.

I blame it on a combination of not eating right (my fault), not exercising (my fault) and possibly a bit of the way my body is (always had trouble with weight regulation, not my fault, but this is probably the factor I have the least control over and that I blame the least for my weight gain).

In the last two years, I have been working a full-time job + going to school full-time + lost my Dad and taken on a lot of family responsibility + learning how to deal with the grief of losing such a close loved one. Oh yeah, I don’t get a heck of a lot of sleep, either.

The first two things alone (work + school) was enough to derail me a little bit from a relatively decent (not-quite-healthy-but-not-so-bad lifestyle), but the combination of all those things above really put me in a tailspin. I have been running around for a long time, not thinking about what I am putting into my body, not doing too much exercise, and definitely not sleeping enough to give myself the rest I so desperately need all the time.

Ok, all that said, what does the title of my post mean?

So RH was asking me why I had gained so much weight so quickly. She was concerned about health issues, like did I have some sort of weird immunological disease or something. I told her I didn’t think so and just said that I wasn’t really taking care of myself or exercising, etc. She asked me a bunch more questions (Had I been to the doctor? What did they say? etc) and I answered them half-heartedly.

Then she asked me something that got my attention.

RH: “DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF SEX?” (in English)

“WHAT?!” I asked in Chinese, really shocked by the mention of the subject. (I do NOT talk to my Mom about such things, so I am not going to go talking to her close friend about stuff like this. As far as my Mom likes to believe, I don’t even know what sex is and I’m not planning on changing that perception for a while!)

RH: “I said, ‘Do you have a lot of sex?’” (she repeated in English)

Joz: …

I sat there dumbfounded in silence, which is pretty damn unusual for me. What the hell is she bringing this up for?! What the hell am I going to say?! How do I change the topic!?!?! Arrrrgh! So embarrassing!

Since I didn’t answer for a bit (maybe like 10 seconds, which is an eternity, especially for a blabbermouth like me), she asked the question again:

RH: “Did you hear what I asked?” (in Chinese)
RH: “Do you have a lot of PRESSURE on you?” (in English.)

Joz: “Pressure?” (in English)

RH: “Yes, pressure. STRESS. Do you have a lot of STRESS?” (in English)

OMG! She was asking me about STRESS, not SEX! Thank god!

Joz: “Pressure? Oh yeah, I have lots of that. You know that.”

RH: “You shouldn’t worry so much, try to relax and not to take on so much pressure. It’s not good for your body.” (in Chinese)

Joz: “Yeah, I know.” (Joz changes the subject quickly)

So to recap…

Yes, I do have a lot of that. STRESS

(But no comment on the other thing.) SEX

Oh gawd I love these Chinglish conversations.

PS - The last few days excepted, I have been eating better and have dropped 8-10 lbs since the beginning of the year. I’m working on it. Really, I am.

Actual email received today…

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on October 4, 2007
in General, joz = dork and joz = weirdo magnet
. 2 Comments

… from a car detailing vendor that I used to use.

My edits are in italics, but the emphasis (no change) is in bold.

Dear xxxxx,

PLEASE UPDATE YOUR RECORDS

SEND ALL PAYMENTS TO:

NAME OF COMPANY
PO BOX xxxxx
BEVERLY HILLS, CA 902xx

SORRY FOR THE INCONTINENCE

I saw that they changed it later, but OMG.

I could not stop laughing about it.

I guess it’s a good thing that these people are detailing your car. I mean, if they’re incontinent and driving your car at all, at least you know they’ll clean up after themselves.

The comments are much more entertaining than the actual content of my blog.

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on October 3, 2007
in General and joz = weirdo magnet
. 4 Comments

I strongly feel that this is true, especially because jozjozjoz.com is the ultimate boring blog lately.

I submit for your consideration the following comment received today to an article written almost a year ago.

Original post from 10/18/2006: Proof that dogs are better than cats.

The comment:

Weiyin Says:
October 3rd, 2007 at 6:47 am

EAT CATS! EAT THEM! EAT CATS! EAT THEM ALL!DOGS ARE BETTER AND CATS SUCK!IF YOU WANT ME TO EAT YOUR CAT ,CAT LOVERS,PLEASE REPLY ME! DOGS ARE BETTER THAN CATS!CATS ARE EVIL!

For the record, I do not condone the eating of cats.

But you have to admit, a crazy comment like that on a post from a year ago is totally random and funny.

Especially since we all know that with a name like “Weiyin,” he/she really should really want to eat dogs.

:P

PS - If anyone out there is taking any of this seriously at all, please get a sense of humor.

A Hollywood Moment

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on August 18, 2007
in General and joz = weirdo magnet
. 7 Comments

Guy clips his toenails in front of Rite-AId

Observe the man in the middle of the picture.

He is clipping his toenails. In public, in front of Rite-Aid at Gower Gulch.

When I walked by him after lunch yesterday, I heard the distinctive *click-click-click* noise of someone cutting their nails. I turned to see him unabashedly clipping his toenails.

I got all the way across the street before I asked my lunchmate: Did you see that guy clipping his toenails?

My friend looked at me like I was crazy, so then turned around and pointed. The guy was still clipping. So I took a picture.

Am I the only one who thinks this is sick and wrong?

Photo taken by jozjozjoz

What makes a headache better?

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on July 31, 2007
in General, food, i love la, joz = dork and joz = weirdo magnet
. 8 Comments

Ice cream at the one & only Scoops.

Today I got Guava & Lychee Sorbet: two of my favorite fruits in one ice cream. It was so good I wanted more.

I also got Strawberry & Balsamic Vinegar which was more strawberry, less balsamic vinegar.

I called in sick to work because I didn’t sleep well last night and was feeling bleh all morning. The ice cream was a real pick-me-up.

I got there when Tai was putting a few flavors out for the evening. I tried the Pineapple & Jackfruit Sorbet and thought seriously about getting another scoop.

Of course, if I continue eating Scoops at this rate, I will weigh 700 pounds and you will see me next on one of those medical reality shows being interviewed for consideration for gastric bypass surgery.

Gastric Bypass Reality Show Pyschologist: “Joz, do you know why you are the weight you are today?”

Joz: “Because I loooooooooooooove Scoops. Yummmmm.”

Let’s all hope it doesn’t get to that point, shall we?

Post made to blogging.la today

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on March 6, 2007
in General, JozBlog News, i love la, joz = dork and joz = weirdo magnet
. 4 Comments

I am embarrassed that I spent well over an hour researching writing it, formatting, it and posting it. I can be such a nerd.

It’s #16 of the Top L.A. Legends series: Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite (aka Jamie Lee Curtis has a teeny weenie)

In other news, my browser history for the last two days looks like I am a Jamie Lee Curtis stalker who has a deep curiosity for herms, merms, and ferms.

I swear it ain’t so.

Gah! Still up! Need sleep!

Published
by
jozjozjoz
on December 4, 2006
in :: bro ::, :: family ::, General, b-school, joz = dork, joz = weirdo magnet and yoshi
. 3 Comments

Dammit.

I was so tired all day. And now that it’s almost 4am, I am wiiiiiiiiiiiiiide awake. For frick’s sake. I have a crapload of stuff to take care of tomorrow. Er, today. Whatever Monday is.

Well, seeing as I’m not doing anything right now, here is a brief rundown of stuff that happened last week… if I can even remember that far back.

Thursday, 11/30/06:

  • Good news: Had a holiday/client lunch event for work. Got a ton of cool stuff.
  • Good news:Went to my Finance class. Found out that the Final exam is now “optional.” Seeing as I got A’s on my first two exams, did all the homework, and hopefully turned in a good group project/paper, I doubt I’m taking the final exam… whoo hoo!
  • BAD news: On the way back to the office from lunch, noticed a very, very bad thing. I SWEAR IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! I have no idea what happened to the sapphire that flanked the diamond, but I thank the universe that I didn’t lose the diamond. On the other hand, I have a very bad track record with these damn sapphires. This is the THIRD time the sapphire has fallen out. (See below. This picture shows the setting intact, but the sapphire gone! I swear I wasn’t doing anything to cause it to fall out. I was not playing basketball. I did not punch anyone in the head. In fact, I have barely been wearing it since last year when we had to get the setting made again because of the “mangling” incident.)
    The sapphire fell out of my ring again! I swear it wasn't my fault!

    ::the second time. 6/26/2005 (but I never got around to posting the picture or blogging about it. So this was definitely somewhat my fault. I don’t know how this happened except that I know that I was applauding during a concert and then as soon as the concert was over, I noticed my ring was TOTALLY MESSED UP! Luckily, I was able to go back to my seat and FIND THE SAPPHIRE. They did have to totally redo the entire setting for my ring, though. Seriously, it wasn’t like I was clapping THAT hard!)::

    Mangled Ring - 06-26-2005

    • ::the first time i lost a sapphire. 5/30/2003 (thx to Mike Doss for keeping my archives alive, since they didn’t import into Wordpress. Sorry no pix. Since it was the first time, and because it happened within 6 months of us getting the ring, the jeweler replaced it for free. Somehow I doubt that they’ll do it again, though.)::

    Friday, 12/1/06:

  • After work, I went to visit my Grandma & take care of some business for my parents. I ended up being there almost all afternoon and evening.
  • Is it really December?
  • I got bacteria from Efi for my birthday. This was a late shipment after previously receiving a book about yogurt and an Atari video game. Thanks, Efi! I know you must love me lots to send me bacteria for my birthday!!!
  • Talked to Bro on the phone a bit.

    • Saturday, 12/2/06:

  • Where the heck did the day go? Got up “early” but got distracted with junk online and almost didn’t get to pick up my snail mail in time.
  • Ran Rooben around the house.
  • Drove the Yoshi downtown in the afternoon for a brief appointment.
  • Came back, got ready for our friend Lauren’s robot birthday party.

    • Sunday, 12/2/06:

  • Cleared a whole bunch of crap off the TiVo.
  • Went to my former classmate’s place for a Holiday Open House. Had a lovely time. They had a great mix of guests and had it catered and everything. I had an extended conversation with a Finance professor (not mine) about the errors he found in a text book. (Weird.)
  • Talked to the Bro on the phone again.
  • Took a 20 minute nap on the couch in front of the TV. (Thanks, Nature!)

    • Things I did not do:

  • Clean my desk
  • Organize any of my crap around here
  • Clean the house
  • A lot of other stuff I was supposed to do instead of lying around and being a bum.

    • I am now officially a card-carrying member…

    Published
    by
    jozjozjoz
    on November 28, 2006
    in General and joz = weirdo magnet
    . 3 Comments

    … of the North American Fishing Club.

    (Does it count if I only carried the card to the trash, though?)

    This should go well with my membership to BASSMASTER.

    Clearly someone has mistaken me for someone who is not completely allergic to nature. To the person who put “Mr Joz” on these mailing lists… you should know that I only EAT fish. I do not fish fish.

    P.S. - Efi, for the last time… it’s BASSMASTER *not* ASSMASTER (ala Margaret Cho), you perv!

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

    Published
    by
    jozjozjoz
    on June 6, 2006
    in General, joz = dork and joz = weirdo magnet
    . 11 Comments

    I just got called “Ma’am!”

    *tries to keep head from exploding*

    As if there was any doubt!

    Published
    by
    don
    on December 15, 2004
    in joz = weirdo magnet
    . 7 Comments


    From Walt Disney World comes this jozzeriffic message…

    Daily Affirmations

    Published
    by
    yoshi!
    on June 13, 2003
    in joz = weirdo magnet and yoshi
    . 10 Comments

    i’m here today to let the world know that i witnessed jozjozjoz at the gym tonight, wearing some sort of sign on her head (or maybe it was taped to the back of her shirt) that said, “hi, freaks, please come talk to me, i love it!”

    she had her headphones on and was obviously watching ER, and this guy got on the elliptical machine next to her.

    freak guy: (shouting over the machines) what’s on tv?
    jozjozjoz: ER
    fg: oh, is that a tv show?
    joz: uh huh (quit talking to me, you freak)
    fg: so do you think the stock market is going to bounce back?
    joz: dunno. i’m not in the stock market (if i mumble, will he stop talking to me?)
    fg: (incredulously) you’re not in the stock market? How are you going to get rich if you’re not in the stock market?
    joz: (looks at the hunny pleading for intervention or at least confirmation that she’s not making this stuff up)

    3 minutes later…

    fg: (somewhat laboriously, having been on the machine for 3 minutes) so, how do you think president bush is handling things?
    joz: (continues to stare at tv, pretending not to hear fg)
    fg: humph. (goes back to huffing and puffing on machine)

    i didn’t believe it when she told me, but she’s an actual freak magnet.
    Continue reading ‘Daily Affirmations’

    The magnet is on again

    Published
    by
    jozjozjoz
    on March 26, 2003
    in joz = weirdo magnet
    . 7 Comments

    Damn.

    Where is the switch for that weirdo magnet? And how the hell do I turn it off?

    After that whole Redcoat fiasco yesterday, I wandered around Union Station, did a bit of souvenir shopping (what a tourist I am), and then showed up at my old workplace, the California Governor’s DC Office. Of the people I knew when I worked there, only one remained. I was very glad to see him and to visit with him. We quickly caught up on old times and pledged to stay in touch (we’d better this time!).

    hallofstates.gif

    From the Hall of the States, I walked down to the new (to me) National Japanese American Memorial, which was a big hole in the ground the last time I saw it. It was very moving for me and while I was trying to take it all in, a weirdo walked up to me.
    Continue reading ‘The magnet is on again’