January 05, 2004

Belated and Extended New Year’s Greeting from the Prof…

The long Awaited Return of professoreric is here!

In this posting please find the following:

1. New years Resolution (my first one ever!)
2. The Prof addresses Joz regarding the past weekend in another Open Letter
3. End of 2003 newsletter. (Includes addressing the hopes and fears for 2004)

If any of this seems mildly interesting then please "Hurl Some More" here...

(I know… No one was really awaiting it long… I just forgot the password that Joz gave me when she got the new web location so I disappeared. And I pretend to have been busy… but here I am)

1. Professoreric’s First Ever new years Resolution (not including any he may have forgotten…)

My resolution for the New Year, 2004, is to eat more delicious pretzels. This includes regular, sourdough, honey wheat, salted, cinnamon sugared, chocolate covered, soft, hard, etc. As long as they are under the category of “Delicious” then they are allowed.

History of resolution: walking down Clement street in the Richmond in San fran while visiting my sister we get a call on my cell phone (not a random phone booth we happened to be passing, that would have made for a much better story though…) and it is my good friend Liz. She is calling from 2004 in Pennsylvania, it is still 2003 in CA. Liz is ecstatic because as usual, she has the best new years Drop story, better then any of my other friends or acquaintances. If you don’t know what I mean by a new years drop, let me educate you. The most famous of the drops you are most likely familiar with: the one from time square with that freaking gaudy ball that falls every year with out killing Dick Clark. Liz, being from Pennsylvania Dutch country has many weird stories, and every new years she calls me from a different Drop that she has partaken in while home for the holidays. Past new Years drops have been: the Giant Bologna Drop, the Giant Pickle Drop, the Giant Sausage Drop, The Giant Fried Pickle Drop, the M&M Drop, and a plethora of other perfectly Penn giant objects. This year’s drop was somewhere near 3-mile island (maybe explains why there are so many giant products to be found there…) She proceeds to tell me that she has just finished watching the Goat drop.

Me: oh my God! Was it hurt?

Liz: no they lower it slowly.

Me: Why? Why a goat?

Liz: ‘cause it was donated by Canada. It was great.

Me: What?

Liz: oh, gotta go. (Laughing hysterically)

Me: Ok, happy New Year. Oh! Bring a brotha’ back some of those great pretzels you always get!

Liz: Ok, No problem. Happy New Year's. (Hangs up. Sister Rachel is giving me a weird look.)

Rachel: First of all, you are my brother!, and second of all, why a goat? Third of all what pretzels?

Liz always bring me back these great pretzels, I think the brand it UTZ. They are delicious, I go on to explain. Rachel is still hung up on the goat thing.

Rachel: and why is Canada donating a goat to some small town in Pennsylvania? All of Canada?

Me: I don’t know. But all I know is that this year I plan on eating more delicious pretzels.

And with that said, I unintentionally made my first new years resolution. There you have it. Onto other business, (p.s. sorry I don’t have links to all of the stuff mentioned above…)

2. Open Letter To Joz Re: Past Weekend

Look, you know that I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you sometimes make it very difficult. Are you avoiding me? Are you afraid of our love? I understand that it is scary at times. A passion like this has never been known before (with possible exception being Ben and J. Lo before the whole wedding fiasco…) I drove all the way up to San fran just to see you. The rest, was just a ruse, subtle as it were. But baby, sweet cheeks, my darling salted preserved plum, would you deny a flower to bloom? A frog to leap? A sticker to stick? A sneaker to sneak? No, you are not that type of person. So lets stop beating around the proverbial bush (ouch! Wait that was a real bush, and it has thorns, so please be careful.) and just find some time after Thursday to get together and kick it (as the kids say) kick I old school! Word? Yes. Word. Oh, and bring your Yoshi!

P.S. Yoshi, I read both renditions of the ride home, and being that I am generally the passenger when in the car with Joz, I am guessing that your account is more accurate. But that’s why we love her.

3. As promised here is Professoreric’s End of 2003 newsletter. (Includes addressing the hopes and fears for 2004)

Professoreric has had a great year. It was trying in some ways, but hey, I was born in the year of the monkey, and as the zodiac goes, the year before your sign is always a difficult one, so I think I did pretty well. And now that it is the year of the monkey, I can expect lots of fun and good things to happen. In the past year I have made a ton new friends, learned to come to terms with the fact that I live in L.A., and that it is not a walking city, but I will walk anyway, and I have reconnected with a ton of old friends, I have had a brief relationship with a gentleman who treated me with more respect and care then I probably deserved, read some great books, bought and burned some great c.d’s (sorry evil corporate music conglomerates), I have eaten a ton, cooked a ton, weighed a ton, and then went on the subway diet (where I didn’t eat subway at all), I have helped start up a filmfest, helped produced some great shows most of which were too interesting to broadcast, I have started some great projects, doodled some great doodles, almost covered joz’s filing cabinet with post its that are all originals and will someday be worth millions. I have climbed mountains, swam in oceans, I have been a jerk, a flirt, an asshole, a friend, a joker, a friend to some smokers, and I have known a few midnight tokers. I have bothered my family to point of submission. I have acquired more junk I didn’t need, but filled a void inside me, which stems from living in a materialistic society. I have learned how to wear pants a bit better, and bough a bunch of great t-shirts, I have more socks, and a bunch more bags from festivals and grocery stores. I have done a bit of protesting, petition signing, a lot of recycling, and bit of donating. I have not crossed the picket lines. I have fed some of those picketers too. I have had a ton of emotional responses to a ton of emotional things, responded the way I was supposed to, and sometimes apologized later. I have gained knowledge in conventional and fairly un conventional kinds of ways. I have for example acquired a bunch of great issues of American Demographic Magazine, thanks to a good friend in high places. I have loved, loved, loved and been loved, and most of the time have been bitter about all of it. I have enjoyed myself and when I haven’t I have found ways to laugh about it later or learn from my misery. I have been a hypocrite over and over and over again, but still stand by all of my opinions and feel that though they seem contrary to each other at times, there is room in my head for all of them. Especially the once where I criticize the status quo and people feeling the need to validate, perpetuate, and assimilate to countless unnecessary and detrimental stereotypes and mass ideologies. I also understand why we do just that too though. It was a year. Lets just leave it at that. And all in all, this coming up year will be a lot of that mentioned above, some stuff I can’t anticipate or expect, and hopefully I will be better at letting it all just happen, and allowing everything to be better and enjoy it more. So that I s what I hope and fear for this new year, the year of the monkey, and a year full of delicious pretzels. Love you all (except for those of you I hate [which by the way in some cultures is a family value] just kidding.) happy New Year, I will try a blog more too if you want. Ok? Good.

With the light and love of 4 full spectrum light bulbs and 39 fireflies,

Professoreric

P.s. look I wrote this kind of late, after driving all day, please forgive my bad grammar and spelling errors, and don’t write me about them. Bother joz. She is now my personal editor. I have decided. And I am declaring her my personal trainer, so then I can throw that into conversation every now and then. Like: “So the other day, me and my personal trainer…” Wow, I am gonna be so cool in 2004! I can feel it. (Or is that a draft from the bad joinery where the windows were installed?)

Posted by professoreric at January 5, 2004 12:03 AM

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Monday Gratitude...
Excerpt: I am grateful that the Professor is back (even though he thinks that Yoshi's version of the drive home is probably more accurate than my version). For the record, Yoshi and I really *did* have a 'black ice' conversation and...
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Comments

Hey, now that's a realistic annual summary report. Those corrupt corporations could learn a thing or two hundred from your example!

Happy Monkey Year, ::professoreric:: !!

Posted by: keith at January 5, 2004 06:55 AM

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