July 27, 2003

Denouncing the so called "gay" community...

Dear friends, (especially you gay friends out there),

Look recently, I have been asked to explain my seemingly lack of pride. Look I have plenty of “pride” I just don’t feel the need to go to every rainbow clad event, strip off my shirt and take a digital photo to post on gay.com or friendster. Sorry boys. And the word boy, it is spelled b.o.y. not b.o.i. I am very proud of my queer identity, but I am sick of those who feel like the only way to prove it is through cliché acts of gaydom. You most likely will not see me wearing a tiny black tank top every time I go to Rage to grind against the hard gym obsessed bodies of the other man-whores searching for acceptance from the others trying to fit the same cookie cutter identity as we dance to the latest Madonna remix which we pretend to love because she is supposedly a deity to us… ok, you get it. That’s not me, I will not be excited if you invite me to “WeHo” to go clubbing, I don’t care which 80’s pop has-been is singing at the parade, I will not smear body glitter on my Crunch Gym sculpted chest to run out and sing every lyric along with, lets say, Belinda Carlisle belting every line of her songs while rolling down Santa Monica Blvd. on a float commemorating Caesar Chavez’s younger gay brother Emilio Chavez, who did nothing for the farmers and migrant workers, but did create a more ergonomical way to add bright colors to those tiny drink umbrellas you get in fruity drinks at any bar including the ones on the deck of those gay cruise lines you always see advertised in the Advocate or Out. I also will take offense to anyone who comes over to me and after about 5 to 10 minutes of adequate conversations says something along the lines of “wow… you act really straight.” Um, hello did you learn nothing from the heterosexist environments that you grew up in, in these engendered social politics that made you beat up the femmy boys in high school with your dumb jock friends, while all you were thinking of was sucking their cocks in the locker room after basketball practice.

Wait: there is more insensitivity and reverse bigotry!

Well look, you never got the gangbang you fantasize about and have to rent videos from Odyssey video for 99 cents on Tuesdays 'cause you wish it did still happen. Well I will tell you, those gangbangs were not all that great, especially after the frequency breaks double digits, although they did help me learn how to properly act “straight.” As for Crunch gym, I fucking own it, and the gangbangs occur when I want them to and how I want them too, so you better fucking invite me next time you hear that Belinda’s in town, or I will never let you into my gym again, and Madonna is my willing slave, especially since I knocked her up and forced her to keep the baby; that British guy was just a cover up. Not to mention, the next time you are surfing for porn online, those pictures of that hot guy fucking or being fucked, yeah that’s me, and because there are so many pictures of me already available on the net, I do not feel the need to have my photo uploaded onto gay.com etc. I expect you to do the research.

Ok, sorry, overboard once again. But seriously, and this is to all the gays, queens, bois, and other queers etc out there, y’all need to stop being stupid predictable idiots. I know it has taken a lot of you too many years to come out of your proverbial closets, but to prove that you are out, to prove to yourself and to everyone else that you are now “okay” with your sexuality, or lack there of, you do not have to “act gay”, “act straight”, treat others like they are or aren’t acting “gay” enough, or that you need to fill any other sort of stereotype either created by the majority, mass media, or by the queer community ourselves, etc, I hope you realize how stupid all that is. Do you realize that you are just helping the rest of society perpetuate an image of queer identity that keeps people from realizing that we are just people too. Look, I hate the way you think you need to “act” and I hate the fucking music you think you need to listen too (unless I like it too…) and I hate fruity drinks (for the most part), and I hate shopping at the stores you feel you need frequent in order to be accepted (except the discount rack at banana republic) and I most of all, if that is the way you behave, well i just hate you.

I do not work out, because I don’t need too. I fucking look hot and I don’t work out, I just have a high metabolism etc. I am happy being the type of person I am. One of my friends has described me repeatedly as the nicest pessimist she knows, and I don’t need to snort coke to get there either. Ok, long and short of it is I hate gay people, all of them, that is why I am now only dating heterosexual woman, (oh wait, I have basically been doing that for years. Ladies thanks for putting up with my dumb gay bullshit.)

Sorry if I offended anyone. Actually no I’m not.

Currently in Maine, running away from L.A.,
-professoreric

Posted by professoreric at July 27, 2003 01:32 AM

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Comments

Eric, I love you just the way you are.

Ooops. Didn't mean to quote from a cheezy 80s-has-been.

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: at July 27, 2003 09:53 AM

Standing ovation up to the point where you said "i just hate you" - hate is not a "family" value ; ) and the place where you said that you were only dating women (note women with an "e")

that goes the same for lesbians (boy is with a "y" not an "i"), please learn how to spell correctly, you just make all of us collectively look dumb and perpetuate the bad stereotypes that plague us.

Posted by: Sharky the Kid at July 27, 2003 07:13 PM

god i totally agree--i've been out for 10+ years and am just amazed at how everything stays the same--at least the people i've met are about as jaded and bitter as i am, and stay far far away from the scene...i love those gay people. i like gay people who know their shit, aren't afraid of being themselves, even if it means that they don't date the castro/weho clones, or even if they do and aren't afraid to admit it. too bad all the gay people i know who are like that i can count on all 10 fingers...my partner included :)

Posted by: stkyrice at July 27, 2003 09:57 PM

I tend to agree with what he had to say minus the agreesive and frustrated nature of "I hate you all."

I think the gay world is way too over-exposed. Seems most of the time everything has to be *stark* black and white -- straight or gay. Well, whoopty-fuckin'-do. Whatever happened to personality? personal identity? Why must you be catagorized by one preference? Why does it matter if you're a top or bottom? Hi, I'm a good friend and a strong support -- and it doesn't have anything to do with what gender I use for my sexual fantasies.

I do the things I like and don't follow the crowd -- and yes, I'm constantly told I need to be more prideful in my homosexuality. Why do I need to be proud to be gay? Are you proud to be straight? Did you ever think you needed to be proud of your sexual preference? I mean, really -- who are you trying to convince?

Hehe - my $ .02 :)

Posted by: Michael at July 27, 2003 10:05 PM

Very interesting post... A 'rainbow' represents our sub-culture for that reason, because we come in all colors, sizes, attitudes, etc. I didn't know about Emilio Chavez, i will have to research on that... I am proud of being gay, but just like you i don't exhibit it everywhere. Being gay is as much part of me as being latino, but before those two i am a unique being that has unique tastes and doesn't like following the trends... anyways, nice post...

Posted by: seyd at July 27, 2003 11:42 PM

...huh?!

Posted by: Paul at July 28, 2003 08:05 AM

Eric...what happened? You started strong but fell off into rant mode. But I totally understand where you're coming from. More and more guys are really getting frustrated with being gay. The blatant self-promotion and exploitation can be a bit much and it's a shame that those just coming into their sexuality feel that they really have to act like this to be accepted. And the ones that are young and already sure of themselves outside of a societal cookie-cutter personality template? We either have to deal with club kids/gym bunnies, sex fiends, or the old bitter guys frustrated with gay men altogether.

Poo.

Posted by: karsh at July 28, 2003 08:17 AM

I didn't know that about Madonna.

Seriously, the professor's got a point in there. If you're gay, you don't have to drop what you're doing and shout it from the mountaintop. You just have to be, well, you.

Posted by: Robert W. Leu at July 28, 2003 08:54 PM

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