My Other Grandma’s birthday

Last Tuesday was my paternal grandmother’s birthday, but just 4 days later was my maternal Grandma’s birthday.

I don’t talk a lot about my maternal Grandma because I don’t think I ever got over losing her. Losing her was the hardest thing I ever went through until we lost Dad. It’s hard to believe but this year will mark 10 years since she passed away.

Anyway, Saturday was (maternal) Grandma’s birthday but because Yoshi’s family was visiting from out of town, I was not able to join my family to do a chanting service for her.

Instead, on Sunday, my Auntie E invited me over to her home for dinner with my Uncle T and my cousin T. I know that Sunday night is their cherished “family night” (cousin T is off at college now, so he’s only home on weekends), so I felt honored to be included. After a huge feast-like dinner (ribeye steak, chicken sausage, corn on the cob, baked potato, steamed broccoli and cauliflower), we each had a slice of mango pudding cake for Grandma for her birthday. Cousin T cut a special slice for her and then he & I presented it to Grandma as an offering at an altar table in their house for her.

Happy birthday, Grandma. I miss you everyday.

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3 Responses to “My Other Grandma’s birthday”

  • this is beautiful – i wish my family had these kinds of remembrance traditions.

  • i know your grandma’s death has been extremely hard on my grandma in taiwan. my grams REALLY looked up to her big sis. hugs, joz.

  • Sadness for your losses. Deep sadness.

    In 2003-2004, I lost both my maternal and my paternal grandmother’s a few months apart. I was injured at the time, in a hospital myself, and unable to attend either of their funerals.

    My father’s mother, who cooked for me every morning when I was a baby on my family’s farm, brought me the kind of sausages and toast that I liked. And let me watch my favorite cartoons on Saturday morning. She had a brain aneurysm, and was gone.

    Without her help I don’t go to college. Without her nobody believes in me.

    My mother’s mother, she is the person I bonded with most closely as a baby, my earliest memories are of her, and feeling more safe with her than with any other person. She was not the kind of person who expressed her emotions openly, but I always knew that she loved me completely, absolutely, unconditionally.

    These ladies raised me, and instilled me with everything that makes me who I am today. Without them I would not exist, not only as a physical being, but the person who I came to be, could not have come about without their care and input.

    I feel the world has shrunk down upon me, and I am lonely for their voices and their faces. It’s a strange thing to wake up in the world, and the people that you’er connected to are gone.


    Saw you on twitter

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