One year ago today, we found out that we had lost our J-X

It was a year ago that C2 called me with the horrible news that our good friend John Ingram (J-X) had been found dead in his apartment. (Resisting the urge to make a Heath Ledger comment)

To this day, we’re not exactly sure what happened, but it doesn’t really matter because at the end of the day, J-X is still gone.

John was on my mind yesterday when C2 and I were having farewell drinks at The Well. John undoubtedly would have been there to celebrate with me.

He was my first friend at the company and I miss him so much sometimes. C2 and I think about him a lot when we talk about TV shows and movies that we think John would have liked (or mocked). If you read my post from last year, then you would know that John used to send me emails about George Takei in the news. Since John has been gone, C2 (and some of my other friends) have been good enough to step up and send me George Takei news to me.

Last year, after blogging about John, I had an urge to email George Takei directly. Yoshi said I was being weird and stalker-ish, but I didn’t care. This is what I sent [with a few minor edits]:

—–Original Message—–
From: joz
Sent: Friday, January 26, 2007 1:55 AM

Dear George,

For a while now, I’ve been meaning to send you a letter; to thank you for coming out and being visible, to congratulate you on your recent successes, to say “Hi neighbor! I live near [you] and we both get our mail at [the same place]!” But those messages seem to be successively more stalker-ish and scary, even though they are not meant to be.

I have broken down to send you a note because I just found out that I lost a good friend this week. My friend John passed away and I just found out about it tonight. And at the risk of sounding stalker-ish and scary, George, I want you to know that one reason my friendship to John was so special is because of you.

It’s hard to explain, but if you are interested in reading more, I wrote about it on my blog at Here is the direct link:

If you are scared and would like to call the cops, don’t worry, I’m harmless. The only place I plan on stalking you is on my TiVo when you appear on Heroes next week.


And because George Takei is a good man with a kind soul, he not only read my email, he went to my site and read my post, and he responded with the following email:

At 02:56 PM 1/26/2007, George Takei wrote:

Dear Joz,

My condolences on the loss of your friend, John. It sounds like it was a good and beautiful friendship. My heartfelt sympathies go our to you.

Please do not think I might consider your e-mail “stalker-ish.” I appreciate your kind words. It seems you are rather prescient — or perhaps you sent me some psychic waves that prompted me to talk to the press. Actually, it was Governor Arnold Swartzennegger’s veto of the Same Sex Marriage Bill that prompted me to talk to the press. I wanted my voice to be authentic.


I post this exchange for John, because he would have loved it. Except for the part about him being dead, that is. (That may sound crass, but if you had known John’s sarcasm, he totally would have said that.)

And one more thing… for John. For so many reasons, this is one of the most embarrassing pictures of me (my hair! my outfit! my geeked out smile!), but it is with George Takei, so of course John loved it. He said it was one of his favorite pictures of all time, so for him, I’ll post it here:
George Takei & joz!

I miss you, John, you big galoot.

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