Daily Archive for January 6th, 2006

I know it seems like I am a VERY lazy blogger, but actually I’m not as bad as it looks…

My real blog (updated daily) is at www.jozjozjoz.com

Please make a note of it!

Weird call from the Bossguy in Vegas (NOT at AVN!)

*ring ring*

Me: Yes?

BG: Is it the year of the horse or something?

Me: Huh?

BG: Is it the year of the horse?

Me: Uh no, it’s the year of the dog.

BG: Are you sure it’s not the year of the horse?

Me: Yeah, it’s definitely not the year of horse.

BG: Hmm. I wonder why they’re doing all this horse stuff here. Ok, bye.


Take two bears and we’ll take your sovereignty in the morning…

First of all, I know pandas aren’t bears*… but did you hear about this?

pandas16and19.jpgChina is offering a pair of pandas to Taiwan as part of efforts to boost public support for uniting with the communist mainland. China has been known to present gifts in exchange for monetary or diplomatic gain; this has been called “panda diplomacy.” The sticking point here is that China is offering the pandas to Taiwan as a province; not a separate nation. Unlike China’s gift of pandas to the US in the 1970s (a state-to-state gift), this “gift” to Taiwan is intended as a state-to-province gift… a very disingenuous “gift” since, if Taiwan accepts the pandas, Taiwan would essentially be “acknowledging” their status as a province of China… which Taiwan is not.

The pandas represent China’s claim to sovereignty over Taiwan because Beijing no longer gives the animals to foreign countries.

The pandas, which are currently referred to as #16 and #19 will be named via a “Name the Panda” contest. The top names in contention? Tuan-Tuan and Yuan-Yuan… which mean UNIFICATION.

My vote for panda names? WHAT – EVER.

What this boils down to is a giant PR/propaganda effort to make Taiwan give up its claims to independence if they accept the panda, or make Taiwan look bad if they do not accept the pandas. Who would turn down such a “nice” gift? Taiwan should.

Not all gifts are gestures in “kindness” and “peace,” not even pandas.

Remember, the Trojan Horse was gift, too… and we all know how that turned out.

Taiwan cool to China panda-plomacy

Friday, January 6, 2006; Posted: 12:21 p.m. EST (17:21 GMT)

BEIJING, China (AP) — China announced Friday it has picked a pair of pandas to offer to rival Taiwan as part of efforts boost public support for uniting the self-ruled island with the communist mainland and sidelining its president.

The Taiwanese government, which has not decided whether to accept the animals, accused Beijing of acting rudely by announcing the gift without consulting the island, which China claims as part of its territory and has threatened to invade. [full story]

More articles:
China steps up panda diplomacy towards Taiwan (FT.com)
China gift of pandas ‘an insult’ to Taiwan (FT.com)
Taiwan standing up to China on panda imports (Taipei Times)
Key events in panda offer to Taiwan since 1987 (People’s Daily Online – a brief history of other “panda diplomacy” attempts by China in the past)

::notprada’s idea of using pandas to fix relationships::

I’m thinking pandas should become the personal relationship rescue of choice. If China can use it with Taiwan*, why can’t I?

Sorry I was late for our date. I have a panda in the car for you.
Ooops, I didn’t mean to total your car and I don’t have insurance, but I have a panda for you!
Here’s a panda. It’s because I burned your house down.
We don’t have it in the budget to give you a raise, but we do have an extra panda.

*Please note, there is a difference between giving the panda and loaning the pandas. Only when you are very, very serious about things do you give the panda. Otherwise it’s just a loan – like Mao and Nixon.

::pixeljuice: What if? China vs. Taiwan: Panda Grudge Match::

:: Lukas: China is offering pandas to Taiwan, but why? (fictional) ::

:: taiwansotherside: an alternate view of the situation ::

:: Cupid finds no easy role in matching giant pandas (lots of cute pictures of pandas) ::

* Well, I guess I never got the new research showing that pandas are bears. I previously learned that pandas were related to raccoons and therefore that pandas are not bears.

Thanks to Will Campbell: Answer Man™ for always giving me the facts.

Here is a bit from the Bearden regarding “The Great Panda Puzzle”

The giant panda, Ailuropida melanoleuca, has given scientists the hardest job of proper classification. When the giant panda was first seen outside of China, scientists thought it should be placed with the red panda, somewhere in the raccoon family. Both pandas feed on bamboo and have long wrist bones that work like human thumbs to grip the plant. The bones and teeth of the giant panda resemble those of red pandas far more closely than any bear relative. Today’s methods of examining and comparing gene sequences between species place the giant panda firmly in the bear family, but certainly the earliest species to evolve from Ursavus elementus, the first true bear ancestor.

If you were like me and incorrectly believed that pandas aren’t bears, don’t worry… there are a lot of other people who also don’t know that PANDAS ARE BEARS, check out “A Bear of a Research Challenge” by Richard Geiger, San Francisco Chronicle Library Director. I defer to them for the final word.


I still can’t buy my book via Amazon!

(Is there someone I can call?)

Dear Amazon,

Why the hell are you so craptastic at 1:45am when I am trying to get my very tired butt to bed?

I am trying to spend an Amazon gift certificate Chris & Ponzi so generously sent me for my birthday on a book I need right away… and Amazon keeps “encountering problems.” It’s an expensive book, at that!

UPDATE: It’s 1:51am. I have been trying to buy this book for over 40 minutes. I give up. Grrrr….

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