…to cleanse my hands of the horror I found this morning…
So as I walked out the door and up to my car this morning, I noticed something sticking out from the handle for the driver’s side door. It looked like it was wet and that someone had gone out of their way to shove it in there so it wasn’t visible, but I happened to see it anyway.
I had my laptop in my bag over my shoulder and my handbag in my right hand (which was also holding my car keys), so I carefully used the very tips my left-hand fingernails and yank the thing out. It unfurled itself as it fell to the asphalt by my feet.
IT WAS A USED CONDOM!
SOMEONE SHOVED A USED CONDOM INTO MY CAR DOOR HANDLE!
IF I HADN’T SEEN IT, I MIGHT HAVE STUCK MY WHOLE HAND IN THERE!
BLARRRRRRRRGH!!!
Mind you, having touched it even the teeniest bit made me want to hurl right there in my car. I grabbed a tissue and made sure I didn’t touch ANYTHING with my left hand until I got to work and was able to wash it off with industrial strength hand soap.
When I go back to my car later today, I’ll have to remember to bring some disinfecting wipes to clean that disgusting shit out of my car handle.
I can’t believe the splooge from some stranger is sticking to my car door handle… blecch!
OMG. That is disgusting. You should get a DNA work up on it, see if you can find out whose it was.
that’s just wrong. have faith that karma will get that jerk … like, maybe they’ll get crabs or something. hehe.
Okay, that’s the most fucking disgusting thing I’ve heard in a while.
Why you? Just because your car happened to be there? Or is someone targeting you specifically?
That’s just so very, very wrong.
Maybe it was the Domino’s guy?
OMG, Will, if it had been the Domino’s guy, then the cost of our meal last night would have way surpassed the $22 (by way of therapy bills).
ew, gross…
totally disgusting.
I’m going to vomit now…
that’ll teach ya to make your parking fine checks out to the “City of Fucking LA!”
Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
Will might be right, it may have been the Domino’s guy. I mean, how many people would walk up to a car and put a condom in between the door handle?
Besides, you really didnt give him a good tip am I right?
Wow, what a Valentine’s Day gift!
Guess that wasn’t the tip you had in mind…
*runs*
ok, so what really bothers me (besides the fact that you touched it, ew) is this: where did the actual using of the condom occur? beside the car? inside someone’s house closeby and they carried it over to your car? there are so many things that are just plain wrong with this scenario, you know?
If it was a masturbation situation rather than a sex situation, would that make the crime even more premeditated? Perhaps I’m over-analyzing this.
omg.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Just plain EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
oooh my god! disgustingly gross!!
Ew. What the hell is the matter with people, anyway?
Ok, ok… i am so sorry… i needed a place to keep it. Look, it is a long story, but i assure you that once it is explained it will all make sense. i will never do that again. i didn’t realize the social implications. again joz. sorry.