Monthly Archive for February, 2005

I don’t wanna be a soap star, but maybe you do…

I missed the first edition of this show… did anyone watch it? I guess it must not have been so horrible if there is a second edition… and what exactly is SOAPnet?

Open casting calls are being held in New York and Los Angeles for the second edition of Soapnet’s reality series “I Wanna Be a Soap Star,” hosted by Cameron Mathison. The show seeks 12 contestants to live on an actual Soap set while competing for a contract role on ABC’s “All My Children.”

Los Angeles open casting is Saturday, March 5th 2005

New York open casting is Saturday, March 12th 2005

Applicants MUST pre-register at:

Dear Officer Mendoza,


I know you’re just doing your job, but did you really have to ticket me and everyone else on the block I parked on?

In retrospect, I realize that the street I parked on was marked for street cleaning on Mondays between 12 and 3 (it was 1pm). But I didn’t see the sign when I got there, otherwise I surely wouldn’t have parked there! I don’t think all those other people who were parked there before me saw it, either!

I will refrain from the obscene check this time (but only since I did kind of deserve the ticket), but I am still not happy for having to pay you $45 for parking for 5 minutes to deposit a check at Washington Mutual (who also suck, but at least they had envelopes today, so they only kind of suck).

The only good thing about this scenario is that since I was able to deposit my money, at least I know I can pay for the damn ticket.

Thanks a whole lot.


I went more than 24 hours without blogging.

(But if I tweak the publish time so that the time says it’s 11:59pm, no one will be the wiser… right?!)

So what if I’ve been working for most of the day, running on empty for the rest? I used to do this all the time and 1:20am was still hours away from bedtime…

Stupid spammers!


Oh yay…

Working on Saturday is fun.

I *SO* look forward to working all day tomorrow, too.

Ahh, this is the life…


I blame the rain

Whenever the weather is gloomy, I feel “extra-tired.” Last night, I got home from work at an “early” 6:30 and I collapsed on the bed, literally falling asleep within minutes. I woke up at 2 in the morning to brush my teeth, take out my contacts, etc… only to go back to bed and sleep until I had to get up for work again.

But at least I didn’t do this.

Seriously. How tired do you have to be to do that?!

Welcome to Michael Adams!

Congrats to my long-time chat/blog buddy Nicole Adams, who gave birth to little Michael Phillip last Friday (2/18/05)!

Welcome Michael Phillip Adams

Michael Phillip Adams
7 lbs. 15 oz.
21.5 in.

Didja know?

That the M&Ms website doesn’t sell almond M&Ms?

I don’t even want them customized! I wanted some nice ones in a gift box!


Yay for spammers…

…for breaking my site again!

*rolls eyes*

The “Joz is not a happy consumer” series…

Dear Office Depot,

I don’t know if it’s worse to have an incompetent customer service staff or to have dyslexic voice recognition system in place to update your customer’s addresses for your catalogs (as you do).

I spelled name slowly and carefully, yet your system still thinks my name is Jcoleyn. It is also not Ocelyn or Joceylm.

I realize my name is not as easy to spell as “Bob” or “Mark” or “Tom,” but if one of those was my name, then my parents should be flogged for giving me a guy’s name.

Y’all suck.

Not Ocelyn


On the beach I saw a water spout. It pulled down from the sky like taffy dripping from a table of clouds on a hot day. It was cool. I am working on the beach for the week, our offices temporarily moved into trailers here for a show, and it comes to my thoughts that when tornadoes land there favorite diet is 95% trailer. Hmmm… this may be my last post. Anyways, it was beautiful. Just wanted to share. -professoreric

A belated welcome to the world to Paige Adkins!

It’s not too late to say congrats to Ed & Heidi Adkins on the arrival of Paige Elizabeth!

Check out this cute photo (definitely a young lady after my own heart!)
Paige Adkins

More Paige pictures: The First Week

I swear I am stopping now

I refuse to do anything else involving calling some big company and trying to get some help. Fucking “customer service” doesn’t seem to exist anymore.

Maybe it’s because these poor people are stuck working on a holiday, but still. I’ve been at this since I got up this morning around 8am. Four hours of this shit would make Mother Teresa snap.

I’m going to relax and breathe a little because it’s probably not smart to hit to road feeling the way that I do right now. I don’t need to get into a road raging fit with some idiot who doesn’t know how to drive in the rain.

*tries to relax*


And even more “Joz is not a happy consumer” series…

Dear Crate & Barrel,

Even though a lot of it is way overpriced for made-in-some-third-world-nation-shit, I like your stuff.

In fact, I would like to continue to receive your catalog at my new address.

You would think that since your company marks up its products approximately 6000% that you would be able to afford staffers who know what the hell they are doing.

I asked to update my mailing address. I specifically made it a point to say that I wanted to CHANGE my address in the system. To me, that means REMOVE THE OLD ADDRESS FROM THE SYSTEM and REPLACE IT WITH THE NEW ADDRESS.

Evidently, nowadays, changing your address means getting a copy of a catalog at your new address while also receiving a duplicate copy at your old address. Did I mention that I DO NOT WANT STUFF GOING TO MY OLD ADDRESS?

Maybe the reason that you have to charge so much for your stuff is because you spend it on extra copies of catalogs and the postage it takes to send it to people’s old addresses.

Y’all suck.

More in the “Joz is not a happy consumer” series…

Dear Dell,

Y’all suck.

All I am trying to do is update my freakin’ address.

First of all, your touch-tone/voice recognition phone system sucks. I got routed to “new sales” three times while trying to update my address and after being routed & re-routed for 40 minutes, I was told I needed to call customer service instead. UM, HELLO! THAT IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO GET!

Then, when I was finally transferred to the correct department, the customer service agent DID NOT SPEAK ENGLISH! I am pretty good at talking to non-native English speakers, but I get very frustrated when I have to repeat everything I say 5 times and it’s still not right. Moreover, I asked for the address on my catalog AND my account to be updated, but I was informed that they ADD my new address to the catalog list, and that although he will put an address change request into the system for my account, that if I call for technical support, I will have to give my old address.

UM, THEN YOU ARE NOT REALLY CHANGING MY ADDRESS ARE YOU?! JUST REQUESTING TO CHANGE IT?! Plus, it sounds like you’ll still be sending your lame-ass catalogs to my old address, which I do not want being sent there.

Y’all suck.

The “Joz is not a happy consumer” series…


Normally, y’all rock.

Right now, y’all suck. I ordered a DVD of Fahrenheit 9/11 through your site as a pre-order and some shyster sent me a DVD in a cardboard CD mailer with no DVD case and the matching liner notes folded up and mashed into the mailer. I wanted to give this DVD to someone as a gift. It was supposed to be “Like New.”

I returned the DVD more than 2 months ago and still have not received a refund. When I complained, you said you needed the seller to confirm that the item was actually returned to him. THAT HUCKSTER HAS NOT REPLIED TO EMAILS IN MONTHS! YOU EXPECT HIM TO ACTUALLY SAY “YES TAKE MONEY OUT OF MY ACCOUNT AND PAY BACK THE CHICK THAT I AM SCAMMING MONEY FROM?”

I’ve been buying and selling stuff through for close to 5 years now. You’ve made hundreds of dollars in commissions from me over the years. And now you won’t refund me less than $10 on a rotten deal I got?

Y’all suck.

Joz unwittingly starts the “Joz is not a happy consumer” series…

Dear Washington Mutual

Today, I went to TWO different branches of your bank and was unable to
complete my transaction for the same reason: no deposit envelopes.

Additionally, it was raining cats and dogs, and I parked and ran around in the rain to your ATMs only to find that I couldn’t make my intended deposits.

Now I realize that it was Sunday afternoon & that the bank had been closed all day, but to go to two different branches and not have any envelopes in stock was disappointing. You’d think there’d by envelopes at one branch or the other!

Y’all suck. This is why you are not my only bank.

P.S. – Why’d you let them take that $2784.36 away?!


How is it that I’m so tired after a day of such little activity?

Just wondering.

(It’s not that I didn’t do anything, it’s just that I didn’t do a whole lot.)


It’s Yoshi’s birthday! I get to give birthday kisses to my Hunny!

Click for a BIGGER BIRTHDAY kiss!
Check it out!!! I’ve got my party hat all ready to go! Whoo!

Come celebrate this special day with jozjozjoz & yoshi by making your own birthday hat with this handy, dandy template!

Make your own birthday hat to wear for Yoshi's birthday!
Your pictures with a proper celebratory hat are welcome!

(Thanks in advance to the Blue’s Clues people for not suing me or sending me a cease & desist because I “borrowed” your silly little template for a birthday hat. Thanks also to Tak for helping a crazy, sleep-deprived chick named jozjozjoz!)

Are you feeling a bit of deja vu? That’s because I “recycled” this post from a year ago. I consider it a blessing for good things to return year after year. Although I will make a concerted effort to not repost the exact same thing next February 18th. Unless I want to make it a tradition…


Seen in my inbox from the accountant of one of the companies I do work for:

Jocelyn, I just did your payment for [your services], total should be $300.00. I have no idea how it happened, but the bank deposited $2784.36 to your bank account. I’ll try to call tomorrow, to see if they can stop the check to you and issue you the new check. I am so sorry about this and hope you could check it with the bank…

My wishful thinking response:

Ahem. Did you not get my revised invoice of $2784.36? I recently raised my rates by 928.12%. Please leave my bank account alone!

Skipping ahead a month in the spacetime continuum…

Today I woke up, checked my calendar, and saw that I had a small soiree to attend at 6pm. I had received a “Save the Date” on this event many weeks ago & thought how strange it was that I never got the “formal invitation” to RSVP. Regardless, I knew I was definitely invited and I had even already made plans to attend with the fabulous ProfessorEric tonight. So I emailed the hosts to make sure that we had the proper clearances to get on the Lot.

And then I looked more carefully at my calendar. The party was not for tonight (the 16th). The party is actually scheduled WEDNESDAY MARCH 16!

Thus, I am officially a dummy (and wrote another email to the hosts saying sorry for making them think I was showing up tonight). I also had to tell ProfessorEric why our date for tonight was cancelled. Good thing I know he’ll always love me despite the fact that I do dumb stuff like this from time to time.

Also, I am officially absolved of fault for any future booking errors in my calendar since I obviously do not know how to read one.

P.S. – I should note that Feb/Mar is tricky since the days/days of the week are the same…

2005 Early Best Simple Blog Award

Congratulations to Miss Brookline, a sometimes contributor and commentor to jozjozjoz, for winning the 2005 Early Best Simple Blog Award! This award is given to a simple blog that proves to be outstanding in writing quality, wit, and nepotism. Some things we like about it: the bus reports, the simplicity of the site, and how it is scratch n’ sniff. here is the link to check it out:

Time to complain about asshats on cell phones

I was leaving the office tonight while trying to make a left onto some-major-street from a left turn lane. Two cars ahead of me, a driver nearly plowed into a guy crossing the street. The driver swerved, hit the brakes, causing the car ahead of me to brake suddenly and hit the horn. Lucky for me, I hadn’t been tailgating, so I was just barely taking my foot off the brake as all this was happening.

From my angle, I did manage to see the pedestrian bang loudly on the hood of the first car, yell a few (shall we say?) “pleasantries,” and give the driver a one-finger salute with the hand that he wasn’t using to hold his cell phone to his ear. (For the record, the driver was not on a cell phone.) The pedestrian had been oblivious to traffic around him and decided to cross the street from the sidewalk at a place not-too-close to the crosswalk, despite the fact that there were vehicles coming at him.

Nice to know that asshats on cell phones can be just as hazardous outside of cars as they can inside them.

Speak of the devils…

I just got hit hard by spammers… that’s why you might have seen a “blank page” here earlier.

I think it’s time to upgrade to MT 3x.


Not only is my spam problem out of control on this blog, I am now having trackback spam problems.

I even got ping-spammed on entries less than a week old!

Is there anyone out there who can help me?!

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