Daily Archive for July 27th, 2004

I am not an anti anti-toothpaste-ite

Er. In other words, I don’t discriminate against people who don’t use toothpaste.

Mike Doss points out:

“Some people don’t use toothpaste, they use baking soda…so people who don’t say “today” might not be dirty-mouths…

There’s also some people who believe that toothpaste is just a corporate scam, and as long as you brush your teeth at all (with just the toothbrush), and floss, you’re doing just fine.”

Ok, point taken. But is there anyone in my circle of friends who uses baking soda to clean their teeth? Anyone? Bueller?

And I understand being all “anti-corporate” about things like marketing products for women at twice the price for the same exact product for men but with different packaging… but I think someone who is against toothpaste but FOR toothbrushes and/or floss might be a tad hypocritical. Really, if there is a bigger scam than toothpaste (if it’s even a scam at all), it is floss. Floss is basically just minty (or even un-minty!) string/thread rolled up in a snazzy plastic dispenser marked up 2045%! Gimme a break!

Anyway, if you haven’t used toothpaste within a day, you can still be my friend. I just still don’t want you to speak to me TO MY FACE. Call me on the phone, yell at me from across the room, write me emails/IMs, or send smoke signals… just don’t share your halitosis with me, thankyouverymuch.

*smiles sweetly, showing off my freshly brushed/flossed teeth. need i say that I DID use toothpaste?*

Stupid survey questions

I received a survey about toothpaste in the mail and here is a sampling of some of the stupid questions that are asked. Even scarier are the answer options they give…

1) Please think about the last time you, yourself used toothpaste. Please “X” the last time you, yourself used toothpaste.
Choices: Today, Yesterday, 2 days ago, 3 days ago, 4 days ago, 5 days ago, 6+ days ago, Never.

If you don’t answer “today,” please don’t speak to me. Ever.

The survey then goes on to say:

Think about the last time you used toothpaste. This will be called your KEY TOOTHPASTE SITUATION. We will be asking you a number of questions about your KEY TOOTHPASTE SITUATION in this questionnaire.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have enough “situations” with toothpaste to have a “KEY TOOTHPASTE SITUATION” (all caps). I use toothpaste several times a day to maintain decent oral hygiene. It is so much a part of my day that I don’t even think about it.

Unfortunately, I know that this isn’t the case for some people, but really, should one’s experiences with toothpaste be so rare that you can have and remember toothpaste situations at all?




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