Monthly Archive for March, 2004

Hic…

…uuppppp!

(ow!)

Popcorn.

#1 item on my favorite meals for lunch.

(aka – Another reason why jozjozjoz should not dispense Healthy Eating Tips)

Home early!

Whoo hooo! I got home before 1:30am!!!

Healthy Eating Tip #2

I think I may start a new series of “Healthy Eating Tips” here at jozjozjoz.com. Of course, any ideas you get from here you try at your own risk…

Here’s a way to boost your immune system… eat your boogers! A vegetarian (?) deeelight!

Of course, even though I haven’t personally tried this, I must point out that I was waaay ahead of the game a few months ago, as proven by these IMs from approx 6 months ago, when Michael had thanksgiving recipes on his site:

him (3:14:19 PM): well there’s a lot of cooking stuff on here [on my site]
me (3:17:57 PM): the booger burger handbook?
him (3:21:05 PM): yup
him (3:21:06 PM): my fave

Found via Jane who found it via Kelley.

It’s official.

Hell week has begun.

*poof!*

him: (11:52:12 AM): sup yo
joz: (11:52:20 AM): yo yo!
him: (11:52:32 AM): you’re yo yoing?
joz: (11:52:42 AM): yeah
him: (11:54:04 AM): how fun
him: (11:54:08 AM): so what’s going on?
joz: (11:54:25 AM): yelling at you while yo-yoing my yellow yo-yo, yo.
him: (11:54:34 AM): lol
joz: (11:55:11 AM): yowch
him: (11:55:30 AM): i’m banning your from words that start with Y
him: (11:55:39 AM): *poof*
him: (11:55:42 AM): you’re now banned
joz: (11:56:00 AM): oh -eah?
joz: (11:56:04 AM): hey!
joz: (11:56:24 AM): -ou made me lose my – words!
him: (11:56:38 AM): yup
him: (11:56:46 AM): oh wait — this could be fun
Continue reading ‘*poof!*’

It’s the lack of sleep…

… I don’t know where the key gnomes came from, but keep them away from me.

Hi Hunny… I’m home!

Oh wait, I probably shouldn’t yell that into the house since it’s past 2am & the Yoshi is already sleeping. Contrary to the obvious suspicion, I didn’t get back from work just now… for once. I *should* have been at Office #2, but I had something else to tend to.

We got up early today (Sunday!) to start the first of an extended move. We were supposed to be out by the end of the month, but we told our landlords that having an extra weekend would help us tremendously. So we’re paying double rent for about a week. But it buys us an extra week and a half to pack and move. Knowing that I’ve been working almost literally 24/7, that extra time is totally necesary especially since I’ve done less than my fair share of packing.

Anyway, I have a belated Friday Gratitude™ for our friends J & C (yes, the same J & C of the “butt shaving-flavored tea” conversation who came over on Friday night after work bringing Chinese food over to make sure we were fed and then for helping us pack. With their help, it felt like more progress was made in one night than what was done in a week. And C came with me to Office #2 to help me with whatever menial tasks and to basically keep me company. It was great. Except after I took C home, I went back to the office and stayed up almost all night working. That pretty much sucked.

Anyway, back to Sunday. We got up early and my Bro and his friend P drove all the way out from OC with P’s pickup truck to help us move our new washer/dryer (stackable) & fridge to the garage of our new place. Our new place looks great… the hardwood floors have been refinished and look stunning, but we can’t move anything in until the place has been cleaned and the hardwood floors are sealed. But our new landlord said that we could move things into the garage early if we needed to.

It took 2 trips to get our appliances to our new place, and the guys did all the heavy lifting, so that was great. But all of this is still mentally exhausting & stressful. After the guys had left our place, Yoshi and I decided to head back home and try to make one more trip to our new place. That didn’t happen because I suddenly realized my entire wad of keys… including the keys to both my new home & old home, my car keys & ‘clicker’, keys to my parents house, keys my grandmother’s home, my mom’s new rental property, keys to murphy’s mom’s house, keys to miscellaneous mailboxes & padlocks, and of course keys to my office… all of that had suddenly disappeared.

I called my brother immediately who mas more than halfway home. I had only sat in the passenger seat of the truck so my brother looked all over & couldn’t find them. Then I got desperate and called the poor girl who had sold us her appliances I thought maybe I’d left my keys in her kitchen when we were messing with the fridge. But she wasn’t home.

By the time we got to our current home, I began to imagine that a tribe of key gnomes* had found my keys and were traversing all of L.A. trying each key in every keyhole, one at a time and that when they* found my home, they’d* expect me to pay them in bubble gum, but that I wouldn’t have any bubble gum to give them since all the kitchen stuff was already packed and mislabeled and actually got stored in the garage with the new appliances so then I directed the key gnome* tribe into the garage where I shut the door on them* and kept them* hostage until they swore they’d* never use my keys again.

I mean, by the time we got home, my brother had gotten back to his place in OC and found my keys under the seat, near the backseat of the P’s truck. So the reason I couldn’t get in work on Sunday night was because my keys accidentally took a vacation down to the O.C.

At least I knew where they were and I took a little nap before getting into the car at 11pm to go down to OC to get my keys & take care of a few things before heading back here. And I’m grateful I will not have any run-ins with any key gnomes* anytime in the near future.

*Absolutely no key gnomes were hurt in the writing of this blog post.

What is going on with orkut?

In the last two hours, I’ve received from orkut more than 10 “approvals” and notifications for testimonials to approve.

The weird part is that I haven’t received any all week. I fail to believe everyone is “approving” and “testimonializing” [it’s a new word in the joz-dictionary, shut up] my orkut stuff at the same time. And when I go in to approve the testimonials, I can’t find them.

At least I haven’t been thrown into orkut jail in a few weeks, either…

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

I just got home and was looking forward to a shower & nap (dare I call it sleep?) and they are using CHAINSAWS outside our window.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo…

UPDATE @ 2:17pm: AND a sledgehammer to break down bricks and concrete blocks…

Learn something new everyday…

Another all-nighter. I did take an hour nap around 2am.

Today I learned that if I am sitting at my desk by the window at Job #2 when the sun comes up, I get to feel what it’s like to be an ant under a magnifiying glass.

Speaking of which, if you’d like to take a turn as the giant destructive god with a magnifiying glass, try Ant City. Too bad it’s only fun once.

Murphy’s new wheels

We found out earlier this month that the vets have determined that Murphy’s hind legs are indeed paralyzed and that she will need a cart.

Well, the cart is here and Murphy’s mom was nice enough to send a picture so we can see her in it.


Murphy in her new wheels.

Thanks for your positive thoughts. Of course, I’ll be giving updates.

Need to get caught up on Murphy?
Update from March 14, 2004
This was the previous Murphy update from February 15
What happened to Murphy?
Murphy’s Antics: Telling jozjozjoz that it’s time to play ball, Murphy’s Law, Raining Cats & Dogs
Pictures of Murphy: Headshot, Looking out the window

Good night morning whatever

I can’t believe I worked all night.

The sun is up and people were walking their dogs and traffic is already jammed on the 405 and I am just about to catch a nap before running off to work.

This really sucks. And I didn’t pack anything. Again.

stkyrice & aiyahh are getting married standing in line again!!! (aka : It’s a small world.)

[I was trying to post this earlier, but I was actually *gasp* working… if you think that this looks familiar, visit the Valentine’s Day post…]

Our friends stkyrice & aiyahh are in line at City Hall in SF right now to get married to get tickets for The Producers in NYC!!

Efren and Howard!  This photo was taken by Amy Langfield and posted at buzznet
aiyahh stkyrice (Efren) is on the left and stkyrice aiyahh (Howard) is on the right!
Photo by Amy Langfield and posted at Buzznet

           
Marriage is love… The World’s Most Famous Married Gay Asian Male Couple™!

stkyrice is IMing me with his Sidekick while in the 2-3 hour wait. I want pictures! I wish I was up there in New York City to be the photographer!

They’ve been in line since 10am I dunno when. They say that it’s “controlled chaos” there and that everyone is very excited! I’m sitting here at my desk and I’m excited for them! [Ok, they didn’t say the “controlled chaos” thing this time, but they COULD have!]

I am trying to convince them to lead everyone waiting in a “We are getting married Producers tickets!” cheer. [Ok, I’m done now…]

… actually, the coolest part of this story is below…
Continue reading ‘stkyrice & aiyahh are getting married standing in line again!!! (aka : It’s a small world.)’

A trip to the ATM is definitely on the top of my list…

My co-worker R (he hates it when I refer to him as “The New Eric”) was nice enough to buy my lunch from Arby’s (chicken sandwich, fries, and coke) today.

It was probably because when I reached to give him money for lunch, I started dumping out change.

R: I don’t want pennies and quarters! Don’t you have any bills?!
joz: If I had any bills, I’d be giving them to you, rather than scrounging for pennies.

In the end, he still went out and bought me lunch, so I have decided that he gets 5 extra cool points in my book.

For the record, including all the pennies I could find around my desk, THIS is all the cash I have on me today:

allthecashonme-03-25-2004.jpg

I’d better find a kickass spokesperson for the JozThong™ so that the sales will “skyrocket.”

Infinitely amused…

… the contest is close:

Who will be the Official jozjozjoz-thong™ Model/Spokesmodel?

The infamous JozThong™
Shocking!

Will it be the ever-anxious Kevin, with his horrifying slingshot?

Will it be Keith, whose accidental anti-nomination garnered him a few votes and anti-votes?

Will it be Genevieve Gallen, our favorite non-6’2″ model whose offer to make flan and pineapple-upside down cake has garnered the attention of pineapple-lovers and cake-lovers alike?

Will it be flan, the sweet dessert that people seem to love… or love to hate… and which seems to have captured the hearts and votes of the gay male community? Also, in a surprising twist, flan has also the received the endorsement of Sisqo and his homies…

This in from professoreric:

Just thought every one should know, that with all of this talk of ‘thongs’ the inevitable has happened, and you just might be surprised how unexpectedly things have turned out… I just got off the phone with music magician and wordsmith Sisqo’s publicist. You may remember him from the hit “The Thong Song” which swept the nation with thong fever (incidentally a simple aspirin seems to take care of that.)

On the phone, I expected to hear an word of another cease and desist order claiming that Sisqo had the official rights to all things thong, and was ready to put this poll out of commission. To my utmost surprise Sisqo has officially announced his vote (and 12 votes for his homies as well). Their choice is of course for “flan”. To help flan in its campaign, Sisqo is putting the last alterations on flan’s new campaign song, a tweaked version of his #1 hit, to be called simply “The Flan Song”. Some lyrics have been leaked to me from “sources” and here is a sampling: “…all night long/ let me see that flan./ That flan flan flan flan flan…” “…Listen, that flan’s so scandalous/ And I know another @#$* couldn’t handle it/ And it’s shaking that thing like who’s the ish…” (not sure what an ish is? But he is said to still be ironing out the wrinkles.)

He also mentioned that in the video for “The Flan Song” he would be honored to have all of the “losers” (his words, not mine) of the poll shake it on the beach in the Joz-thong while holding large scrumptious plates of flan (granted that the flan is the focus of the video and none of the participants distract too much [he seemed especially worried about Kevin]).

Or is there another candidate waiting in the wings to attempt to take the lead?

Have you voted yet? The polls close soon…

Today’s Poll

Evidently, people seem to think that sales will “skyrocket” if our friend Genevieve Gallen will model in an “Everybody Loves A jozjozjoz” thong.

Now, Genevieve has been a very good friend to jozjozjoz and the yosh, so we are not actually asking her to do this… we simply would like to take a poll to see if what the interest would be in something like this…

Should Genevieve Gallen
Warrior Woman Genevieve Gallen & jozjozjoz photo from the 'Why I am not a model and why she is. post'

model this thong
Shocking!
for an exclusive jozjozjoz thong sales effort?

Should Genevieve Gallen model the “Everyone Loves A jozjozjoz” thong?

1. Yes: If there is one thing I like it is Genevieve Gallen and thong modeling. But that’s two things so if I had to choose one I would choose “neither,” ’cause the two should go together.

2. Maybe: Are they environmentally friendly? We know that Genevieve Gallen is environmentally friendly, she is known to even recycle old recycle bins… but is the thong biodegradable?

3. No: I do not believe that thongs should be allowed in today’s society. They are an introduced species and if we allow them on our beaches and lawns, they might breed and overpopulate and take over the world. Is that really what you want?

4. Yo: Can I get your number? What’s your sign? Was your father an astronaut? Do you have a quarter so I can call home?

5: Flan: 1 1/2 cups sugar; 2 tablespoons water; 1/2 lemon, juiced; 2 cups heavy cream; 1 cinnamon stick; 1 vanilla bean, split and scraped; 3 large eggs; 2 large egg yolks; Pinch salt

[Write-in votes accepted in the comments. Thanks to professoreric for coming up with the choices in the poll.]

Remember… don’t steal Genevieve’s picture! Feel free to link back to this link at jozjozjoz.com, but remember:

No use, re-use, copying or reproduction is allowed without our specific agreement and permission, not even for amateur use on the internet. Please respect the legal usage of these images. If you use Genevieve Gallen’s images we will prosecute you to the full extent of the law.

[p.s. – i tried to run the poll with blogpolling, but it no work!]

4:45am…

…and I just got home from the office.

Maybe I’ll get 2 whole hours and can get up to go to Job #1 in time.

Re: Requested Information

Dear Professor Eric,

Thank you for your follow up on my request for information. You mentioned in your note that I should let you know if I need more information. This correspondence is my formal request: YES! PLEASE SEND MORE!

Thanks in advance for your attention.

Sincerely,
jozjozjoz

P.S. – Rowena Chavez no longer works in my office, so please make sure you update your database with her replacement: Teresita Ontong. Thanks.

P.P.S. – Look what I did with your information!



P.P.S. – I had to do a little “corporate re-shuffling.” What do you think?

Due to (not so) popular demand…

The ::jozjozjoz:: store is now open!

Exclusive!  Everyone Loves A jozjozjoz! shirts!

Buy your “Everyone Loves A jozjozjoz” shirt today… and they’re much less expensive than the Urban Outfitters’ racist shirts, too!

Ladies, don’t forget your “Everyone Loves A jozjozjoz” baby doll tee & thong!

Hee hee! Shocking!

(Don’t mind me, I’m just amusing myself!)

Slap happy

I think the stress and lack of sleep might be getting to me.

I just told Yoshi that an acquaintance of mine has a fridge available for us.

“…And it should fit in our kitchen because it’s only 66 feet high!!!”

I didn’t even have a chance to correct myself because Yoshi was laughing too hard at me.

It’s only just begun…

My Dad called me earlier this afternoon… it was 4am in Taiwan.

President Chen Shui-bian and Vice President Annette Lu announce their victory in yesterday's presidential election at the Democratic Progressive Party's campaign headquarters in Taipei last night.
PHOTO: CHIANG YING-YING, TAIPEI TIMES
Notice how they are standing behind a bullet-proof protector in this photo.

As you can see from the AP headline:
Taiwan President Narrowly Wins Re-Election [full story]

The Taipei Times headline:
Controversial victory for Chen [full story]


Even in a photograph, it is a stunning and moving sight. To see the streets filled with thousands of Taiwanese individuals, celebrating as the baby steps of the burgeoning democracy take them another step toward independence. Think about it and put yourself there. Wow.

But it’s not over yet. The election was extremely close, the margin of victory was less than 30,000 votes. Evidently, the losers (presidential candidate Lien Chan of the KMT & and veep candidate James Soong of the PFP) are mad and throwing out all kinds of allegations that the election was “unfair.” Adding more fuel to the fire, the challengers question the narrow margin of victory because there were over 300,000 ballots which were ruled “invalid.”

Why are there so many invalid ballots? Without speculating on the pending investigation, you should know that another aspect of this election is that there people in Taiwan who aren’t happy with the two presidential candidates (liken them to the Nader supporters in our last election). The Alliance of One Million Invalid Ballots, was urging people to cast invalid ballots. You won’t find this written up in a lot of the reports, but knowing that this is puts that large “invalid” ballot count & “unfair election” accusations into perspective. I expect that a large number of “invalid” ballots cast were, in actuality, intentional.

Protesters from the Alliance of One Million Invalid Ballots, symbolizing their unhappiness with the two presidential candidates Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian and opposition leader Lien Chan, push rotten apples with their noses in front of the presidential palace in Taipei March 14, 2004 . The group has launched an islandwide campaign urging voters to cast invalid ballots on the March 20 presidential election. REUTERS/Bobby Yip

The challengers will be filing a lawsuit with the election officials… but until then, rather than respecting the democratic system that so many fought to have in Taiwan, Lien Chan and Soong have not asked their supporters to “calm down” and respect the recount process. They have been leading ‘demonstrations’ and ‘sit-ins’ and basically fanning the emotional flames of the people… they may as well be inciting their supporters to riot. Unfortunately, the rioting has already begun.

My Dad called to give first-hand update on what he was seeing at home on the Taiwanese news… news he knew that I would not be able to find in English anywhere else, even on the internet. Of course, he’s concerned about the safety of the people and hopes that the violence and unrest will not cause people to fear the democratic process. From someone watching from across an entire ocean, I know I am concerned, too.

And with any close election, comes controversy…

While I can understand the concerns both sides have whenever there is a close election, I can’t believe some of the allegations on the so-called “unfairness” of the election. So far, Lien Chan has made speeches saying the election was “unfair.” What was unfair about it? I have no problems with the challengers’ desire to have a recount, but a close election is not the same as an unfair election.

There are even allegations that the assasination attempt on Taiwanese President Chen and VP Lu was ‘staged’ for ‘sympathy votes.’

Check out this excerpt of an AP article:

Before the election, challenger Lien Chan said he trusted that Taiwanese voters would be rational and not let the shooting cause them to cast a sympathy vote for Chen. But after he lost the election, Lien changed his mind.

“This was an unfair election,” Lien told a crowd outside his campaign headquarters.

Some have suggested that Chen’s shooting was staged to swing the election in his favor.

“The gunshots looked very fishy,” said Su Chi, a senior campaign official.

Lien did not go that far, but he demanded a full investigation of the attack’s effect on the election. He also said 330,000 invalid ballots should be inspected. [full story]

Why did Lien change his mind? Because he lost. Sounds like a case of sour grapes to me.

If you saw the video of the shooting, clearly, President Chen didn’t even know that he had been shot. In fact, he continued campaigning and didn’t even know he was gushing blood until he looked down and saw a bullet hole in the windshield. Thankfully, it was not a serious injury, but the jeep was traveling at a high velocity and had the bullet been any higher, the headlines would be quite different today. I can’t believe A-Bian or his supporters would risk *killing him* to stage a shooting for sympathy votes.

If you think that Taiwan is a tiny little island and that what happens there doesn’t affect you, then I challenge you to stop and think about your history lessons and think about how many wars (WWI, for example) were launched over the assasination of a leader. Had A-Bian been killed, it could have set into motion a huge chain of events in Asia… in which the United States could very conceivably be sucked into. That being said, I need stop and say that I am only glossing over the tip of the iceberg and that this is a much deeper and complicated issue than what I have time for.

I really need to stop my political rants and keep this blog my “happy fun” place and taking my Taiwanese political rants somewhere else. Until then, read, gloss over, skip these posts if you’re not interested. I will also be happy to write up a “layman’s” history lesson about Taiwan and what the issues are and why they exist. Unfortunately, my plate is rather full right now. So, if you are interested in learning more & discussing at a later point, send an email to taiwan@ jozjozjoz.com.

If I find good reading along my journey, I will definitely let those interested know… for starters, check out the Yahoo News photo slideshow.

I love my Mom & Dad…. and some Taiwanese political stuff

I don’t like to talk about politics on my blog that much, but you may have heard about the assassination attempt on Taiwanese President Chen Shui-Bian & Vice President Annette Lu while they were campaigning for a second term for the election that is happening right now (it’s already Saturday in Taiwan).

I finally got a call from my parents who are both in Taiwan right now. Part of the reason they are there is because they are campaigning on behalf of President Chen. Without going into it too deeply, my family is extremely involved in the pro-democracy/pro-independence movement in Taiwan & has been for a number of decades. It is not unusual for my parents, aunts and uncles to spend months at a time back there, campaigning before election time. [I don’t want to debate the Taiwanese independence “issue” here. To me, there is no “issue.” China needs to stop bullying a tiny little island of people who already have their own government, currency, and elections. It is not a “rogue province,” Taiwan is its own country. Taiwan deserves its own seat at the international table, and China needs to stop getting in the way of that. Stop pointing those missles at Taiwan. And by the way, no one is falling for the “target practice” or “military exercises” you are conducting just miles off the coast of Taipei.]

I knew that both Mom and Dad have been making speeches and doing press in support of A-Bian & VP Lu. So I was shocked and upset to hear that A-Bian and VP Annette had been shot. Thankfully, the wounds were not life-threatening and they will continue on. More personally, thankfully my parents were not in harm’s way.

But I was still really, really upset that I had not been able to reach my parents on the phone this entire week. I even tried to call my mom before going to bed at 4am this morning (yes, I was up working all night) and all I could do was leave a voicemail on my dad’s cell phone asking him or my mom to call me back. When he tried to call me while I was driving to work this morning at 8:30am, I accidentally hung up on him while trying to answer my phone. Gah!

They finally got through this evening (about an hour ago) as I was about to leave my office. I spent about half an hour (combined) talking to them. They had just gotten back from voting and were trying to fill me in on everything happening there. It was really good to hear both their voices, which is kind of weird because most of the time, talking to either of them just drives me bonkers. But I guess all this made me realize that I actually miss them more than I thought I did.

Anyway, a bit of sap for my parents mixed with some Taiwanese politics. Maybe someday I will lay out my political thoughts more coherently, but right now, I just wanted to be express my gratitude for my parents and family and all that they have fought for and given (and given up for) us. I don’t say it nearly enough, but it’s one of those “given gratitudes” which I really need to voice more often.

And oh yeah, my mom finally gave the okay for my brother to adopt a certain Taiwanese Martian Dog.

What the hell?

Urban Outfitters is charging $24 for an ugly faded t-shirt with “chopstick” writing with the words “Everyone Loves An Asian Girl“!?!?!?!?

Stupid 'Everyone Loves An Asian Girl' shirt Lame ass t-shirt And expensive shit, too!

It’s so stupid, I don’t even know where to begin the rant…

Evidently, they have “Latin Girl,” “Italian Girl,” “Catholic Girl” tees, and a “Jewish Girl” and “Jewish Boy” one, too.

I smell stupid publicity stunt (ala Aberfuckme & Bitch), or “edginess” gone idiotic, or just plain stupidity. Who would wear a shirt like that? Not me, thankyouverymuch… I’ll just stick to my DIRT-TEE!

Better yet, I will go to my friend Ryan Suda’s site and get a blacklava tee… maybe another BITCHY KAT TEE (ala bigbadchinesemama, Kristina Wong!). Not only are they cooler, and not fucking racist, they are also priced better than those UO rip-offs!

My Friday Gratitudes…

… I am grateful I will have a new place to live (new lease signed yesterday)…

… I am grateful that I will have help with all that must be accomplished in the next few weeks…

…I am grateful that it is Friday!




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