You can still say “Joz would never hurt a fly,” but really, I *would* let one suffer and die a slow, painful death.

Poor Yoshi has had not had real food in weeks. I bet it sucks to have to live on soup, jello, yogurt, and popsicles for close to a month.

Last night, Yoshi was really hungry and craved “pizza or Chinese food” and despite my offer(s) to make something not greasy for dinner, I caved and went out to bring back some Chinese take-out for dinner.

When I walked through the door, I must have let a giant fly into the house, because it kept buzzing and buzzing around us and the food while we were eating.

After Yoshi left the room, I was determined to get rid of the fly. We don’t have a flyswatter in our house, so I decided I’d try to catch the fly so I wouldn’t have to ruin a perfectly good magazine and smash fly guts on an appliance or worse yet, have to touch (ew!) the fly with my bare hands.

Believe it or not, I managed to catch the fly in a plastic bag. I can’t tell you how I did this, but I will say that there was some fly hypnotizing going on. And in 15 minutes, I had a fly trapped in a plastic bag & I tied it shut. (And shook the bag a lot little to make sure it was definitely in there.)

The problem with plan was that I didn’t think through what I’d do with the fly after I caught it.

Seriously, what do you with a pissed off fly? One that was buzzing furiously & already busy plotting an angry attack on me in my sleep? I thought about letting it out outside, but then I would have to go out into the cold backyard & risk the chance that the fly had already signalled his fly brothas telepathically and that I would be jumped by a gang of irritated winged insects.

So I did the obvious & put the sealed bag of air (+ 1 really livid fly) into the garbage.

I doomed the thing to suffocate in our garbage can.

I felt really guilty for being so evil & Yoshi had to reassure me that it was “just a fly” and that “there are billions and billions” of them in the world.

Except it only made me wonder if I was going to be the target of some worldwide fly vendetta.

5 Responses to “You can still say “Joz would never hurt a fly,” but really, I *would* let one suffer and die a slow, painful death.”


  1. 1 Michael Doss

    I hate flies, but I always let them outside…it’s the kindest thing to do. The Winged Brotherhood isn’t out to get you, they’re pretty much solo creatures. One time I also employeed some fly hypnotizing, and had one land on my hand until i walked it out the door. It was awesome.

  2. 2 Hunter

    Psssstttt. There’s a fly mafia and they will take you down! It sounds like you got one of their big guys too. You should probably lay low for a couple days.

  3. 3 Meeta

    lol. I don’t think I can say more than that cept I’m laughing cause you’re too cute. You honestly can’t hurt a fly can you? ha haha ha :)

  4. 4 gingersmack

    *shaking head*

  5. 5 Blondie

    I’m always paranoid the spiders will send their troops to get me while I’m sleeping. You might want to watch your back cause I’ve seen an increase in spiders around me.

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