Monthly Archive for August, 2003

Another Bachelorette party… this time with mostly naked guys

When my cousin had her bachelorette party last month & made it a spa day with dinner & dancing at the Sunset Room, I was so excited about going to the spa, I put a little countdown on my blog until the time for my massage.

On Saturday night, I attended the bachelorette party for my friend, who wanted to go to a male strip club. My idea of fun is NOT seeing sweaty, half-naked guys gyrate and grind themselves on my friends for dollar bills. However, seeing as I have the honor of being the Honorary Maid of Honor (don’t ask) for the wedding, I had no choice but to go. Nonetheless, I did have a good time.

The evening started off with an early dinner at Maggiano’s at The Grove/Farmer’s Market. After a very yummy dinner, we headed to the strip club, where there were probably 6 different bachelorette parties going on. The Chippendales-esque show was held in WeHo at “The NEW Club 7969” (I haven’t been there in years… the last time I was there, it was still Peanuts/Michelle’s and I went on drag night where all the men were 100,000 times more beautiful than I!).

Here is a photo of the group of us at the male strip club. To protect the innocent, I’ve blocked out the faces of the bride-to-be and her friends. And in the case of the not-so-innocent (me), please keep to yourself how big my smile is in that photo. It was fun, ok? You should note that the “innocent” girls all have huge silly grins on their faces, too.

jozjozjoz meets The Hollywood Men

After the show, we headed to Miyagi’s and did some dancing. The bride-to-be wanted to check out Beauty Bar, so we made an early exit. On the way to Hollywood, we stopped off at the Pleasure Chest so I could buy the bride & groom some fun stuff for the honeymoon. What a good Honorary Maid of Honor I am! (I should note that the bachelorette lucked out & didn’t have to wear a veil, condoms, or penis paraphenalia because the stuff had accidentally been left at home.) I didn’t buy my friend anything hardcore, but her little gift package included new lingerie, a set of edible bra and undies, a feather tickler, and some Motion Lotion. Oh and I bought her a Playgirl, so she wouldn’t feel disappointed for not getting to see it “all” at the strip club.

We headed to Hollywood for Beauty Bar, but it was 1:30 and the line was out the door and around the corner & neither of us wanted to wait in line (I had to work on Sunday morning).

We called it a night and got to her home past 2am, beating the bachelor home by approx 15 minutes. By the time I got back to my home, it was almost 3:30 am. There is another story about what happened when I got home, but I will say that despite coming home with a feather tickler of my own from the Pleasure Chest, I did not stay up for anything fun.

JozWatch ’03 – Mission Keanu Wrap-Up

I will say once again, that I am not one of those crazy-stalky fans of ANYONE, but Keanu happened to be on the lot where I work two days in a row & I thought it would be cool if I could get him to say hi to Krix.

I found out quite by surprise that Keanu was on the lot on the first day, when professoreric happened to see Keanu sitting outside my office (my office doesn’t have a window, so I never know what’s going on outside). After I missed Keanu by mere seconds, I found out from Krix that he was returning again to our lot the next day.

The second day I tried *once* to “run into” Keanu with my sign and digital camera, but it was not meant to be. As we were leaving for home, we passed the soundstage that Keanu’s band becky was performing on the Orlando Jones Show. ProfessorEric and I stopped for a minute to take some snapshots for Keanuvision.

Click “sometimes we have to make our own fun” for the goods. Thanks to Krix for making me laugh.

Here is a picture of ProfessorEric…
ProfessorEric says HI KRIX!

The Genevieve Gallen ::jozjozjoz:: Summer 2003 Photo Series

Here is another photo of Genevieve Gallen from our night out together.

This was taken in the same restaurant in Beverly Hills where we took our picture (although this was not the restaurant we had dinner in). Again, I verify that I was the photographer for this shot & no photoshopping was done except for some cropping & the addition of the watermark.

Someone had mentioned that in the Genevieve’s left leg appears to both go behind me and in front of me at the same time. The only explanation for that is that it’s some weird optical illusion. If had been photoshopping a “fake” picture of us together, then I would have just cropped that part out… truth is, neither Genevieve nor I noticed it because we know we were both there for that picture & know that it was real. Besides, I’m not stupid enough to “steal” Genevieve’s picture(s) and put my name/website all over it and link back to her site. Nonetheless, we talked about it and I’m going to shift the words down a little so this illusion is not noticeable.

Genevieve Gallen takes a bite out of melon!

Feel free to link back to this link at jozjozjoz.com, but remember:
No use, re-use, copying or reproduction is allowed without our specific agreement and permission, not even for amateur use on the internet. Please respect the legal usage of these images. If you use Genevieve Gallen’s images we will prosecute you to the full extent of the law.

You should know about my can of Joz-Whup-Ass™ by now. Don’t even go there.
Continue reading ‘The Genevieve Gallen ::jozjozjoz:: Summer 2003 Photo Series’

For some Thursday amusement…

Check out keanuvision & JozWatch ’03 – Mission Keanu.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain (aka Genevieve Gallen Meets The Wizard of Joz™)

Since posting Genevieve Gallen’s picture at the newstand earlier this week, people have been IMing, emailing, or even (in a couple of cases) calling me and asking to see more pictures of her. That picture of her at the newstand is so adorable & really captures her good humor and sense of fun. And seeing how it turned out made me feel like a professional model photographer for about 17 seconds. Of course, it certainly helps to have a great model!

Yvonne asked if there is one of Genevieve and me together… I had said that it was coming up next… So here ’tis! Thanks again to Genevieve for being so much fun to hang with & for letting me post pictures of her on this site!!!

From Genevieve Gallen and jozjozjoz’s night out together in Beverly Hills…

JozGen-z.jpg

Feel free to link back to this link at jozjozjoz.com, but remember:
No use, re-use, copying or reproduction is allowed without our specific agreement and permission, not even for amateur use on the internet. Please respect the legal usage of these images. If you use Genevieve Gallen’s images we will prosecute you to the full extent of the law.

And don’t forget, my can of Joz-Whup-Ass™ is poised and ready. Don’t make me use it.

P.S.- Genevieve was the creative genius who came up with the Wizard of Joz™ moniker for me. When she wrote about her clicking her hot pink stillettos together and her ‘Toto,” I laughed so hard! I love it!

For Krix

Click on the picture for the story…

forkrix-08-27-03.jpg

For the record, I am not a “fan” of Keanu…. but, I *am* a fan of krixalicious (of keanuvision).

I am a believer in RESULTS, dammit.

UPDATE: I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON KEANU! Stop asking! Stop making fun of me! This is FOR KRIX! Don’t make fun of Krix, either!

Shark bite

Happy Hump day!

And a big thanks to all of the JozJozJoz fans who visit this site daily! We hope you are enjoying all of our madness!

Today I’d like to post yet another Shark scoop™ on one of our site’s favorite TV shows Boy Meets Boy.

Last we checked in on the mates in their plush Palm Springs digs, only Brian H., Franklin, and Wes remained in the hunt for James affection (and all expense paid trip to New Zealand!), but as we saw last week, our friends at Bravo! had one last twist to turn on unsuspecting James and his lush of a friend Andra, oh, did I just say that? Come on now, do you ever see the woman without a drink in her hand?? Can we say AA? Anyhow – Dani the hostess with no personality what – so – ever filled our poor little doe eyed James in on the big secret – that one of the remaining mates was straight! Oh the horror! Did you all see the change in his expression? Priceless! To make things worse, he had to go and tell lushy slushy Andra that the big bad producers played a dirty little trick on them and snuck in a straight guy! Well as we all know, she freaked out and went ballistic! And of course it was “all about her” and that they (the producers) are making a big fool out of her by getting her to like these guys and “shoving them down your (James) throat”. Sure Andra – it’s all about you!

Moving on… quickly…. James goes on three 1on1 dates with the remaing mates and his objective is to figure out which one is straight and feeding him lies. James logic is ill thought out and warped so at the end of it all – he’s still clueless to which one is putting the big act. Now we all sit and wait breathlessly until next week to find out who James selects as his remaining mate to fly off to beautiful New Zealand with….

SPOILER ALERT!!! Do not read on if you don’t want to find out which mate James had the best “connection” with…
Continue reading ‘Shark bite’

An open Reply to professoreric, Re: Re: our Extended Flirtation

(This was written as a response to professoreric’s “open letter.” If you haven’t read his letter yet, please read his first before reading mine. Thanks.)

My darling professoreric,

The passion of our love grows stronger in each passing moment we are apart. We overcame Boss man’s plan to separate us; our twice-weekly early morning (and don’t forget) evening trysts prove that our adoration and tenderness for each other have prevailed.

Your consideration of my health and well-being make my heart flutter and my left earlobe twitch. I cannot deny that your thoughtfulness and attentiveness are two of the many reasons I love you so.

But you are right… for the sake of everything we’ve built together, we must put our affair on hiatus. In your absence, I promise to turn to Yoshi for comfort and love & am grateful for your call to action that the rest of my friends fill this gaping hole in my heart with their support.

I look forward to our more erotic IMs, eating our personal pan pizzas, and designing (telepathically) the orange campaign materials of the Genevieve Gallen for Governor of California movement.

Oh my precious grapefruit seed, I eagerly await your recovery so that we may walk the halls of our offices hand-in-hand again.

Your tiny salted preserved plum,

:: jozjozjoz ::

PS- I shall treasure your Sharpie & Post-it artistic renderings for all eternity.

An open Letter to Joz, Re: our Extended Flirtation

This is an open letter to Joz concerning our “extended flirtation”,

Joz, darling,

I don’t know what to do about our love. Boss man has already done his best to thwart it by separating us into two different offices, but that couldn’t stop our early morning rendezvous (at least twice a week.). Despite adversity, our love has done nothing but flourish, like the blue flowering chicory of our hearts poking through the tough asphalt of a public that wants nothing more but the demise of our passion. Oh Joz, and as if things couldn’t get any worse for us, suddenly I seem to be coming down with something, not a case of cold feet, broken heart, butterflies in the stomach, or any other ailment possibly found in Milton Bradley’s classic game “Operation”. No, this is some sort of cold, that because I am so sensitive to your health and needs, makes it so that I must put a stop to our Xerox breaks, kissing in front of the copier while the light from the scanner rolls back and forth, back and forth across our star crossed twinkling eyes. I must make an end to our water cooler wet T-shirt contests, and our “Lady and the Tramp” style spaghetti dinners. Am I being clear? Until I am in better health there is not recourse but to put our affair on hiatus. I also apologize to Yoshi who now must spend more time with you and give you the attention that I will not be able to provide at this time, for your well being of course. I hope that all of our friends who come across this open letter, can be there for you in these dire time of need. And to keep your spirits up, here is a list of activities that are still appropriate in our new situation: erotic IM’s, watching each other eat personal pan pizzas (romantically of course), telepathy, appreciation for the color orange, and of course pushing for the write in nomination (only if the recall goes through) for Genevieve Gallen for governor of California.

Oh my sweet moonpie, I hope you find a way to cope ‘til I am back to 100% good health.

Until then, my tiny salted preserved plum,

The (your) professoreric

Instead of couplet…

this day is so slow
and all of a sudden I feel kinda dizzy for no reason
is this your life?

My friend, same one from “apples and oranges”, wrote me this while once again chatting online. I thought it was seemingly deep. It makes me feel like I should be thinking. So this piece of found poetry will take the place of my Rhyming Couplet of the day. Call it a modified modern haiku.

One of the highlights of my weekend…

…was meeting and spending time with this wonderful, sweet, funny, smart, pretty lady & her adorable dog.

Here is a peek of what Genevieve Gallen and ::jozjozjoz:: were up to…

Feel free to link back to this link at jozjozjoz.com, but remember:
No use, re-use, copying or reproduction is allowed without our specific agreement and permission, not even for amateur use on the internet. Please respect the legal usage of these images. If you use Genevieve Gallen’s images we will prosecute you to the full extent of the law.

I am not joking about this. Don’t make me open up a can of Joz-Whup-Ass™.

UPDATE: As a response to Joelle’s excellent questions… she’s not the only one who asked them, but thanks for asking them publicly so I can reply publicly.

Joelle asked: “Is this an image that you added the signage to yourself or is this actually a sign that she’s holding with your name on it?”

Joz says: This is an image taken by me this past weekend with Genevieve actually holding the sign. The only photoshopping done to this is the addition of the watermark and some cropping.

Joelle also asked: “aren’t you being a wee teeny bit paranoid with the whole watermark and “fullest extent of the law” thing? ;) or that by her request?”

Joz says: Fair question! Part of the deal of me posting her pictures on my site is that they are watermarked to make it a headache for anyone trying to steal it and photoshop it. And the “fullest extent of the law” thing is wordage taken almost word for word from her website. And one of the reasons that this is reiterated is to discourage people from taking this photo and “adding signage,” changing the words on the sign, etc. Oh, and I also wanted an excuse to threaten people with my can of Joz-Whup-Ass™.
Continue reading ‘One of the highlights of my weekend…’

Rhyming Couplet: #3

And here continues the saga of the rhyming couplets:

there would have been one more on friday, but the net was on the fritz (who’s fritz?). Here is a new one.

Roses are red, and my ivy is dead
With all of that said, I am lost in my head

This couplet came to me for my own personal reasons this morning. What does it mean kids? Hmmm… is ivy a plant of a person, or a frog? And are roses even really red?

Have a Rice Monday!

It remains to be seen if Yoshi is actually in the mood to wish everyone a rice day, but this is what I saw at Don’s this morning while making my blog rounds and I had to share…

I think it’s the coolest that he saw that when he was in Phoenix & thought of snapping this… I LOVE IT! THANKS DON!!!

(Stop right there. No jokes about how good Yoshi tastes, please. Don’t even go there. No. Don’t.)

to hell with ‘modern conveniences’

do you think anyone will read this over at verizon?

—letter begins here—

I cannot even begin to express how disappointed I am with the ongoing issues I’m having with your billing department.
Continue reading ‘to hell with ‘modern conveniences’’

Up All Night… No Rhonda Shear, either.

No, it’s just me… still working even though it’s almost 4:30am.

The good news is that I’m making progress.

The bad news is that I’m still not done yet.

And I have dragon breath. Ew.

UPDATE @ 6:28am IN THE FORM OF A RHYMING COUPLET FOR THE PROFESSOR:

The sun is up and so am I.
I am so tired I could cry.

Instant karma’s gonna getcha!

It was killing me (and professoreric) today at work because jozjozjoz.com was down all day. Ick!

We both had stuff we were dying to blog about & couldn’t. Instead, I text messaged Yoshi, wrote an email to Shelli and then to Genevieve, and bugged everyone on my IM list at work with my incredible news.

That whole dissinvite drama this week really sucked… for anyone who missed it, what happened was that I was banned from going to a party… BANNED!

But, if you believe in karma, the funny thing is that I got an invitation this morning to go to the LA Area Emmys!!! Ok, so this is not the Primetime Emmys (the one with all the celebs) and it’s not Playboy Mansion… but I never imagined I would EVER go to ANY Emmys & it’s kind of cool to be able to say “I’m going to the Emmys!” …AND I’ve been SPECIFICALLY INVITED! (Ha! Had to throw that in there!)

The most amusing part of this turn of events is that the Emmys are happening the EXACT SAME NIGHT/WEEKEND of the party I was banned from. So when people ask why I’m not there, the “middle man” can honestly say “Jocelyn is at the Emmys tonight” instead of “she was banned from coming.”

The thing that sucks is that I had been planning for a while to get to spend some time with Shelli that weekend, but we’ll have to do a raincheck instead.

I’m the saddest kind of workaholic there is…

I overwork myself because I’m afraid that if I’m not busy working, then people will find out how utterly boring, lame, and uninteresting I am.

UPDATE & CLARIFICATION: (Thanks to Sonia for her comment, though! Glad you’re back!)

Whether or not I’m actually boring, lame, or uninteresting is not the point! (While I may joke around and make self-depricating jokes about my life, I do consciously know that I’m not really (that) boring, lame, or uninteresting.)

I made the epiphany that my a large part of my workaholism is rooted in insecurities I have about how others perceive how “great” my life is… making it clear to me for the first time that I don’t work this hard for the money (trust me, it’s not big money), nor the “glory” (trust me, there is none). To my defense, I think this insecurity is combined with a really, really good work ethic, in addition to a desire to achieve/succeed… so *voila!* Workaholic Joz™ is born!

Ryhming Couplet: 2nd installment

As promised, here is today’s rhyming couplet. Do as you will kids.

Tempted with tempeh she tinkers with me
To trudge to her house and then F.T.P.

Procrastinating sucks

UPDATED 8/21 @ 4pm:
Because I procrastinated on a bunch of work, I can’t go to the Sparks game on Thursday night tonight. Instead, I have to stay home with a pile of work that I should have been done with weeks ago.

Dammit. Sharky scored a suite tickets 7 rows off the floor and everything. (Have I mentioned that Sharky is the coolest?!)

Yoshi and tcubed will get to hang with Sharky without me.

Bah.

(At least I was invited and can’t go because I had to decline (& not because I was specifically banned from going). Yes, I’m done with the drama, but it doesn’t mean that it didn’t still hurt at some level.)

I’m cracking up.

A few minutes ago, I got a call on my direct line at work.

I immediately recognized one of Yoshi’s co-workers on the line. Except for meeting her at a couple of company functions, I haven’t really talked to her and yet there she was… calling me on my direct line.

me: Hello?
her: Hey. It’s me.
me: Uh… ok… What’s going on?
her: Hey. I just had to tell you something. Yoshi went outside with another girl. So I took the phone and had to call you. ‘Cuz, you know, I like you and stuff… and thought you should know.
me: (laughing) Are you tattling?
her: Yeah girl, I got your back.
me: (laughing even more as I hang up) Oh ok…

What a wannabe shit-starter she is! :P

Then I immediately had to go into professoreric’s office and tell him what a hysterical call that was.

And with that, I’m smiling again. :)

The Hunt for Clarence

clarence.bmp

ORIGINALLY POSTED 8/20/03 @ 12 midnight:
Sharky found Clarence!

Yay Sharky!

UPDATE 8/21/03 @ 10:16am:
Sharky was informed that the place she found Clarence was sold out. So the Hunt for Clarence is still on…

A Phish On The Hook

I try not to pass judgement on things I’m far removed from. Having talked to Genevieve Gallen on more than occasion, I am starting to appreciate & see a different point of view… how difficult it is to live in a media fishbowl & how the press takes something minor and blows it to gigantic proportions.

Nonetheless, I skimmed this story but got a kick (no pun intended) out of the closing paragraph, excerpted here for you to see:

Regardless of whether Gordon has to face a judge next month, law-enforcement sources say unofficial justice was already delivered. The Hell’s Angels, who detained Gordon for police, were not, the sources say, gentle with sensitive areas of the rock star’s body.

Seen on nbc4.tv:
Exclusive: A Phish On The Hook
Band’s Bassist Gordon Accused Of Child Endangerment
Continue reading ‘A Phish On The Hook’

Rhyming Couplet

Hey Joz and pals… As a writer/ poet, (part time that is), i am discouraged that i haven’t had any time to send stuff out to get published as of late. I have decided to start publishing a rhyming couplet, as an exercise, whenever i remember, on the blog, for y’all to decipher. this is just for fun. let’s see where it goes. here’s how it will work. in the morning i will write down the first rhyming couplet that pops in my head. then you guys urp me if you can find a way to justify it. a sentence or paragraph, whatever. it’s just a writing exercise with out purpose. here’s what popped into my head this morning:

the furniture is first to hear
the autumn is stained with beer

Like I said, I hate drama

I’m good now. No more drama.

It is what it is, and I’ve said my piece. I know where everyone stands and I’m grateful to know. I don’t hate (or even dislike, for that matter) anyone involved. As far as I can tell, I never *did* anything to upset the person that dissinvited me, so I can feel good knowing that I never did anything intentionally nor unintentionally for that person to dislike me. The dissinviter has had ample opportunity to “get to know me” and evidently finds no value in me & dislikes me for me. I’m ok with that and can respect that. I still like this person, but I don’t have to be liked back by everyone I like.

I told you I don’t hold a grudge. :)

(Last) Friday morning.

I arrived at work early, and there was a neatly clipped picture of Genevieve Gallen and soon-to-be-hubby sitting on my desk. No note. No explanation.

Did I mention that no one at work knows I even read this blog?




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