Letter you never want to see from your tenants…

…but that I actually sent to my landlords.

Yes, I really sent it.

Yes, just like this.

— excerpt from actual e-mail to my landlords —
Subject: FYI (otherwise known as “Things Joz broke this weekend while you were gone”)

Just so you know, the water faucet outside your kitchen door is turned off because the switch to the hose is broken. I found this out today when I tried to clean the driveway and instead was sprayed in the face with a giant stream of water. The pieces to the switch are in the garage on the desk (also with the newly washed tablecloth).

Please don’t try to turn on the water, as you will be sprayed in the face (like I was). Since the girls [dogs Moca and Terra] now cannot drink from the faucet, I put a couple of bowls of water out for them.

The other thing is the string on the garage door got wet in the rain and when I grabbed it, one end either broke or came undone. I don’t know which.

The good news is that I did not break the dogs, so hopefully you will not worry too much the next time you guys leave us alone here. In fact, I had a good time with the girls [again, the dogs Moca & Terra] and there was only one Terra-piddling-accident inside our place, so all was good.

Be glad that Y [my Hunny] is the one who is normally home & not me.

Thanks!

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