Monthly Archive for April, 2003

Ow, my back.

It hurts. REALLY bad. I have such bad posture/chair at work.

It’s KILLING me.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Soon I will be rifling through the first aid kit for drugs and painkillers.

This is Terra

This is Moca’s trusty companion, Terra.

I don’t know what kind of dog Terra is. Do you?

Terra is very sweet and excitable. Unfortunately, when she gets too excited, she just can’t hold it in & she piddles everywhere.

She has pokey toenails that jab me deeply (and painfully) when she decides she wants to jump on me, which, unfortunately, is pretty often. [Please don’t suggest she needs a pedicure. They don’t help & result in her pointy toenails being EVEN SHARPER.]

Terra is also orally-fixated & can usually be seen running around with a shoe/toy/slipper/bone in her mouth. These are rare shots as Terra has nothing in her mouth.

How did this happen?

I found out that on March 3, 2003 (03/03/03), evidently my site was #24 in the Top 25 most popular sites according to Popdex.

How the hell did that happen?

That would be above #29 (The Battlestar Galactica site) and #32 (Wired News: Monkeylike Baby Bot Meets World). I’m in shock and awe.

It must have been The Infamous Check.

Are you sick of seeing this yet? And “hi” to Kristina and her harem!

hot joz butt(on)s… thanks to jewdez!

My pimp Jewdez is such a doll… so for people who don’t want a button of my chewbacca/ewok dog, you can have some hot jozjozjoz buttons, instead!



… these two newly designed-by-that-kick-ass-jewdez buttons go along with the previously created joz butt(on) created by Armafair!

Whoo hoo! I am one lucky chickadee!

Random Word of the Day

Word of the Day for Sunday August 27, 2000

verisimilitude \ver-uh-suh-MIL-uh-tood; -tyood\, noun:
1. The appearance of truth; the quality of seeming to be true.
2. Something that has the appearance of being true or real.

Moca says “Have a good day!”

Moca is a big large gargantuan german shepherd who lives in our yard and protects us.

She likes to dig holes and put her wet nose on my tummy.

This is Moca saying “Have a good day!” to me as I left for work this morning. She is trying to put her wet nose on my nice, clean, white shirt. Unfortunately, because she squirmed so much, every picture I took of her was blurry. Doh.

Every Sunday is Ramen Day…

… or so it says here.

Sunday is also the day Eric & Jocelyn rest, so we have no artistic rendering for Ramen Day.

Why don’t you create one of your own? [Then ping me here.]

[This post is dedicated to Oomphie, who was certain I was going to do something weird about ramen. I still might.]

National Pretzel Day!

Today is National Pretzel Day. Go and eat a pretzel.

Today is also Hug an Australian Day.

Let’s combine it for National Hug an Australian-Eating-a-Pretzel-Day.

My favorite part is the pretzel saying: “I am salty and delicious.” Oooh baby.
Artistic rendering and photo provided by Eric and Jocelyn.

Coley has outdone me.

Comments from the Peanut Gallery…

Thanks for the editorial on the artwork, Bootsy.

Happy Zucchini Bread Day!

Of course, what I’m REALLY looking forward to is August 8: Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbors Porch Night!

I should note that this is on the white board behind my desk in my office. Our boss hasn’t made any comments about this yet. We’re wondering if he ever will. Maybe he’s afraid to.

Illustration and Photo Courtesy Eric & Jocelyn.

Dumb Traffic Lights… Day 2

The power is still out in certain areas of Hollywood.

As if people didn’t drive stupidly enough in L.A., now we have to deal with them trying to figure out how to go through intersections with no traffic lights.


As of lunch time, the rumor I heard was that the traffic lights are now operational. We shall see.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Yeah, this was forwarded to me. But it’s late and I just got home.


Image borrowed from The Psychic Chicken Network. No joke.

But check the joke below…


We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI – Iraq Ambassador
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

The chicken’s habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Continue reading ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’

Dumb Traffic Lights

I walked out the door a full 20 minutes earlier than necessary so I could get to work early. But there were LINES of cars everywhere I went.

Traffic signals throughout Hollywood were out due to a power outage. Needless to say, I did not make it to work as early as I had hoped (but not as late as I had feared).

It’s 1pm and the signals are STILL down. I had to stay in and eat lunch from the vending machine. Doh.

I left work at 6:15pm. The lights were STILL out. I wonder when they finally fixed them???


I’m always tired these days.

My Mom freaks out and says I’m ruining my health, but it’s not like I’m out smoking and partying and stuff.

I’m just working. A lot.

Is that why people love Ikea so much?!

Ikea’s new bed shares name with German obscenity.


Read more about the “Gutvik” (which means “Good f***” in German) blow below… (I love how this is a WOODEN bed…)
Continue reading ‘Is that why people love Ikea so much?!’

Joz Eye View

This is what I look at every Monday through Friday.

An Easter Treat for Coley


coley: they’re showing an all time easter favorite… 10 commandments
jozjozjoz: geez… that’s such a long movie!
coley: 10 hour movie
jozjozjoz: an hour for each commandment
coley: lol. rameses in this movie looks sexay
jozjozjoz: hahaha. i can see it now… famous quotes from coley “rameses looks sexay”
coley: shush. lol. he does. especially with that braid hanging off the back of his head. good sex prop.
jozjozjoz: too late! it goes out on my blog!
coley: ahahah. lol
jozjozjoz: doh. i can’t find a photo of him online.
coley: i’m trying to find one
jozjozjoz: hahaha. we are both doing the same thing
coley: yeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh buddy. yul brynner. he was russian too. foreign. just like how i want them.
jozjozjoz: hahaha. you are cracking me up

[don’t worry, there’s more…]
Continue reading ‘An Easter Treat for Coley’

I’m a ramen retard.

I am so ill, but it’s my own damn fault.

I ate instant ramen. Ew. Blech. I can feel the sodium coursing through my veins.

I ate Cup Noodles while chatting with Bootsy and Oomphie (yes, I have her permission to call her that!).

Can I blame them for my binge?!

Maybe I should have gone to Asahi Ramen… and I know fresh ramen is better, but who has time to make it themselves?!

joz butt…




Whoo hoo!

Armafair made it feel like my birthday by making me a button!

Finally, I feel like I’m in the big leagues (well, big something, anyway!)

Feel free to link me or even to make me another (if you so feel the need)!

I give up… The Shirt is doomed…

Yes, I dared to wear the Infamous Shirt today. [why am i such a dummy?]

I made it through the entire day with no additional pen or marker stains on my shirt (even though I used both).

Then I came home and big dogs jumped on me. And you know how much I hate it when dogs jump on me.

I now have a big ol’ paw print on The Shirt.

Better yet, the paw print is on the boob area of the shirt. It looks like a big dog groped me.

Oooh baby.


Masturbate-a-thon set for live webcast

Found on Ananova:


Masturbate-a-thon set for live webcast

A community sex education centre is to broadcast a charity masturbate-a-thon live on the internet.
Continue reading ‘Masturbate-a-thon set for live webcast’

I’m offended, I think.

What the hell is this about?

Saddam Hussein was a gay porn star? Not just on South Park?

With no footage, I’m hesitant to believe this.

It sounds suspiciously like an effort to cast Saddam in a negative light (as if “cavorting with Osama,” like there was any proof of that; the human rights violations; etc. wasn’t bad enough).

So they use the gay angle.

That offends me.

UPDATE: The “source” of this story seems to be the Weekly World News… meaning this is total bullshit.

But how many people are going to believe it because it’s on Yahoo (and you can’t tell easily where the content is from)?

[Thanks to the Inscrutable American for the clarification of the content.]

Get outta my way, W!

I guess I *would* be Presidential Barbie, that is, if Barbie wasn’t tall, blonde, and skinny.

Which Barbie are you?

Private to my Hunny…

Happy Anniversary!


Battle Monkeys!

:: jozjozjoz ::
is a
Rock-Eating Disco Monkey

…with a Battle Rating of 8.6

To see if your Food-Eating Battle Monkey can
defeat :: jozjozjoz ::, enter your name:

:: jozjozjoz :: is a Rock-Eating Disco Monkey with a Battle Rating of 8.6.
Unleash your own Food-Eating Battle Monkey.

But I still can’t beat Judy.

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