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I am enraged beyond words.

But they sure as hell are coming out like mad… For the time being, I live in a household with 4 people, all of whom also share a mailbox/postal service that signs for our packages (UPS, FedEx, etc) and things during the day.

When we get things that are too big for the box, we get a little slip of paper that says when the package arrived and we have to go during business hours so a person can hand us the package.

Today, I was in a big rush to get the mail & so I parked in the meters right in front so I could pop in and out with my mail. There was even 2 minutes on the meter, so I did not have to search and find a nickel. It would have worked out perfectly had there not been one of those stupid slips of paper in the box.

You already know where this is going, but humor me. So while I was waiting for the mail guy to hand me my package, Parking Nazi shows up, punching buttons on his little ticket-writing device. I did not realize this, because I was waiting for the package… which turned out not to be a package but rather a large piece of junk mail for my housemate (who never picks up the mail and uses that address to sign up for free shit). This is about the 1000th time I have gone during business hours to retrieve a ‘package’ which turned out to be JUNK MAIL for her. The latest glut of junk mail has been from all the car companies, because she takes test drives just to get the free shit they give you. In the meantime, they send CRAP to our mailbox, that I end up having to retrieve, because I can’t tell by a stupid piece of paper that it’s not for me and that it’s JUNK.

Anyway, so as I was walking out, I saw the Parking Nazi putting the ticket on my window. WHAT?!?!

I go out there and say to him “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I don’t control the meters,” he said. “If it’s red, I have to write a ticket. Too bad.”

[I am PISSED woman, hear me ROAR.]

DAMN YOU, Parking Nazi. Now I have to pay 35 hard-earned dollars because I was late 30 seconds waiting for junkmail that wasn’t even mine.

$35! Do you know what $35 can buy?

• A month’s membership at the gym.
• A nice pair of jeans at Old Navy, maybe even a shirt, too.
• 7 rotisserie chickens Costco
• Lunch for 2 at Todai
• One month of DSL service
• A basket full of stuff from the 99 Cents Only store
• 3 DVDs from Amazon
• 2 VFLA CDs
• Breakfast for 4 at Cafe 50s… plus a root beer float!
• Better yet, 1750 2-cent plains at Cafe 50s
• 140 gumballs @ a quarter each

And if anyone wants to send me $35, I will shut up about this a lot sooner…

[end rant]